RESENTMENT AAAGGGGGHHHHHH!!

[macdoodle]

I dont love XH anymore, dont want him, dont care about him, am even getting over my anger and bitterness, but sometimes I just boil with resentment!!

He left me with a mountain of debt (I have £1000/month going out on debts at the moment), he pays NO child support (I will go to CSA once we have sold the properties we own but dont want to make him halt the sale),he feeds the children ONE effing meal every 2 weeks, he buys or pays for nothing for them nada nothing!!
We have a contact agreement from mediation, however HE cancels/changes whatever whenever it suits him
He has now started working away for periods, usually gives me last minute notice and off he pisses! On one hand this is fab we dont see him for weeks at a time We are all happier and calmer without him!

But I know he is making decent money while away but I dont see a penny of this either for the joint debt or for the children He leaves me with last minute childcare as he has my 2 yr old one day a week and takes DD1 to school 2 mornings, it means I never get a break He refuses to arrange the extra childcare or pay the childminder the extra!

Those of you in this situation know how frustrating it is, there is just no way to force him to be a good parent, or take any responsibility either financially, practically or emotionally!!

Last night he ranted at me because he is not happy with the access I offered HIS mother while he is away!
After some pretty appalling behaviour on her part towards me, she now only sees my DD's with him! She wont actually speak to me, and I am not happy with his suggested arrangement, I offered a reasonable alternative and his response "shove it up your fat fucking arse"

According to him he has "rights", rights of course, doesnt seem to give a shit about his daughters "rights", or the fact that maybe some responsibility comes with those so called rights!!

Just ranting I guess,, but I have mostly moved on from him, but at times like this I just burn with resentment that he thinks his "rights" allow him to behave as badly as he wishes with none of the responsibility

Not surprised you're feeling angry and resentful. Bloody cheek of the man. And his mother sounds a charmer too.

Don't have anything practical to suggest, I'm afraid but completely understand the relentless nature of being alone with sole responsibility. It's hard and so draining.

I hope the New Year brings you something wonderful and is the start of better things.

I can understand how you feel. I have actually started really hating the word "rights" now as all too often people use that word without considering their responsibilities. One cannot come without the other.

Keep a diary of his disruption!!

When are house sales due to go through?

This is no good at all for dd's, they need stability and routine to maintain their relationship with their dad......of course you know all this, but once sales are sorted I'd def go to 'csa' and re arrange some mediation to put this right .... You're doing so well tho!

Thank you !
The properties are going to auction in Feb Am desperately hoping they make enough to clear the bulk of the debt, but I will accept whats left and just work harder to pay it off, it means one less link to him, one less thing he has over me
We will probably end up in court to sort out the financial settlement but I have an excellent solicitor who I trust!

I wont/cant go back to mediation, it was horrendous, he eventually lost it and stormed out of the 3rd one!

Am now looking forward to him going and some peace and clam for a few weeks, my elder DD (8) is a different child when he is not around