Last-chance job in SE a no go, looks like I am finished career wise for a bit. So sad.

[agingoth]

I didn't get the job I was hoping for in the SE. as some mners will know I am stuck in a horrible residence situation with ex H which means I am basically unable to do my current and much-beloved job because it is 200 miles away from SE London where we originally lived with the kids.

When I got the job, I was going to move up here with the kids but we have since split up and now H insists on a rigid 50:50 with weekday handover which means if i work f/t as I need to do to have any sort of career, I would barely see the kids during term (as he insists they must stay in original family home and ds1 at school).

I have been told by a few legal advisers that I don't have much chance of getting sole residence under these circumstances and that even if I do become a stay at home parent for a couple of years I'd be unlikely to be able to move the kids out of London if he objected. Etc.

I do see the need for shared parenting to be truly shared and I so regret the situation I have found myself in. I feel i have worn myself out trying to remedy it and it's the end of the road now.

I am scared of a pensionless future nd so sad about losing my friends, colleagues and the interesting stimulating career I had thought was mine.

I just can't believe how cruel life seems to be atm but I have to get through because the kids need me and I love them, they are the best thing I have.

Thanks all for listening.
xx

I am so sorry to hear about the job front news.

Life can be cruel sometimes but it can also change for the better in an instant, you never know what is around the corner.

At least you can write those academic papers now, that is the one positive thing that can come out of this

HI Dutchgirly, yeah I am going to finish my book, after 6 job rejections it feels as if my work isn't valued that highly but at least I'll have done something with my PhD.

It's been a terrible year and I know I've done well just to keep going.

One great thing is now I can spend all my time with the boys and really help them through this awful time for the family.

I've got your email btw, thanks so much and we must meet up soon. xxx

Agingoth... sorry to hear about the job not going ahead but, don't dispair, surely he is finding it also difficult to be in the same house and unlike you, he has the resources to change it. Who knows, perhaps at some time he would be prepared to let go a bit and allow for contact to take place in weekends of perhaps longer holidays with them?

Just give it some time, there may be some surprises ahead.

Really sad agingoth to read of your situation. Sometimes things happen for a reason. But events take their time to unfurl. Please don't lose faith. As others say, the light could just be around the corner. Perhaps you were not meant to get that job because a better job has been earmarked for you. It is a tough job market out there. Sorry that it is compounded by your circumstances re: exH. Wishing that you and your children get through this soon.

Know how you feel. I have no prospects of a decent job ATM as my responsibilities to my kids simply dont allow me to do the work I used to do as a LP. I have resigned myself to getting by for the next 10 years or so, by which time I will be too old. I do feel a twinge of regret when I see old friends and colleagues doing the high flying jobs I used to do whilst, I struggle on, working for someone that I can run rings around, earning far less than i am worth, just doing what I can fit in. But i am here for my kids and that is far more important.