I need advice on how to deal with ex's refusal to answer email etc

[passmyglassplease]

There has been a deterioration in the relationship between myself and the ex!

But I continue to try!

I sent him an email yesterday asking for the dcs itinery over the xmas period, he is taking them away on holiday for the 2nd week of the xmas break.

I get the impression that my request will not be fulfilled, am I being unreasonable if I in turn, do not give him the dcs passports

Well it depends on your request really - if you're asking what time to drop them off and when would be convenient for you to phone and speak to them that seems reasonable, but asking for a detailed itinery perhaps isn't and I think he wouldn't be totally out of order not to provide one.

You were joking about passports, right?

No, there was a bit of a situation when he took them away for the summer hols, I was unable to contact them, as I hadn't asked for a contact number

I assumed that he would pass his mobile to the kids to speak to me but he didn't....

I ended up going via his Solicitor, requesting that the dcs speak to me.

He was advised at that time to supply all contact information, mostly because my ds is at risk health wise in foreign enviroment and as I am primary carer I need to be able to assess any situation, that includes just talking to the little man.

And no I am not joking.

I personally would withhold my dd's passport - in fact, under the terms of our court order, I don't have to provide the passport unless I've got contact details for where dd would be staying. (May be different as ex isn't from UK and I do have genuine concern about him not bringing dd back).

I would want to know where my kids were and I would want access to speak to them / them to me at regular times.

As a SM for the last 10 years, we have always ensured that DH's ex knows where we are and has contact details (less of an issue, as we provide mobile for both of them)

Hi - I would expect to know where they were and be able to speak to them when they were with exh.

So no you are not being unreasonable.

really sorry to hear that he's still playing mind games with you
as tough as it is ime by being arsey yourself you're just playing into his hands and he will get off on it and for all you know slag you off to the dcs
my exh has pulled this nasty holiday stunt a couple of times now and it was absolute mental torture for me so much so that i had to have my ads upped to cope
i know that your eldest is the same age as mine so would you consider supplying her with a mobile(remembering overseas roaming charges)so she can at least text you if she wants to or you can call her directly
altho saying that i strongly suspected that my exh removed ds1's sim card
try to keep yourself occupied whilst they're gone and get out and about with your friends and family
oh and don't forget to warn nm what's going on as he's going to see you in a v tense and upset state and will doubtlessly feel unable to do much to help(as mine did)
you know where i am xx