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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Original poster

How do you DO dating as a single parent???

15 replies

spicemonster · 14/12/2009 23:03

I'm entirely single - I don't have an ex that has my DS overnight at any point (although my mum will look after him with notice and on a weekend so I'm not stuck at home always and this isn't about feeling sorry for myself). But I'm wondering how people manage dating.

This is not a pressing question as I am seeing someone at the moment. But I met him through friends on a night out at the pub and it's really casual and is likely to peter out at some point (not least because he is a lot younger than me). So I guess internet dating will be my best bet when that moment inevitably happens. But how do you do that if you don't have a ready made childcare provider in the evenings? Go for lunch or a coffee during the day? I am a WOHM so that would be possible. Or pay for a babysitter for an evening when it might be a total disaster? Is it really mean of me to think that £25 for a babysitter on a random date that might not go anywhere is a bit steep?

How do you all manage it?

OP posts:
Mongolia · 15/12/2009 01:33

I would start with odd nights out or coffees at times when your mum can take care of him. And proceed to lunches during the day later on, if he works near to you and you really want to see each other more often.

Whether the 25 is step or not depends on how much you want to go out with that particular person (Not sure=too expensive. Damn it, he is the man I always wanted to meet= an absolute bargain )

Niceguy2 · 15/12/2009 09:51

Or it could be £25 to meet the man of your dreams which then seems quite a bargain!

FairyLightsForever · 15/12/2009 10:14

I am in a similar position, although have not yet considered paying for babysitting. The man that I have met is understanding of the fact that I can't always get a babysitter. I am working on the basis that he is the right person then he will understand that the kids come first.
It isn't necessarily a bad test of their suitability...

Original poster
spicemonster · 15/12/2009 11:11

Well it could be NiceGuy2 but in my long experience of dating, I have been on more rubbish dates than good ones so forgive my cynicism

OP posts:
Niceguy2 · 15/12/2009 18:05

True but its better than saving £25 and sitting on your own all night wondering where Mr Right is whilst he's dating someone else?

Original poster
spicemonster · 15/12/2009 20:24

I think I've averaged about 8 out of 10 dates where I haven't seen the bloke again. So that's £125 per decent date. Seems a bit of a high price to pay to me. Perhaps I'll just stick with the toyboy - at least he's low cost

OP posts:
kdk · 15/12/2009 21:04

I'm also interested in this - like you SpiceM I'm a totally single parent - my exh does not live in the UK and is unlikely at present to return.

I live with my mum which, in many ways is great, as I have a built-in babysitter on the rare occasion I need one but she would not be happy to be left overnight/having to deal with them early in the morning etc.

ATM is totally theoretical query as am not seeing anyone and not any real prospects either sadly BUT just wondering what do I do if the situation changes? Is it possible to have a sex life or should I just accept lifelong celibacy?

LurcioLovesFrankie · 15/12/2009 21:16

If you find the answer, let me know. I'm wondering how to cope with life-long celibacy too [looks for half smile, half grimace emoticon]

SlightlyFoxed · 15/12/2009 21:23

another one in the same boat ... and having forked out a few £25 wodges of cash recently for not very interesting evenings out with men who think they are fascinating, I'm on the point of giving internet dating a rest for a while.

on the plus side, I have met a couple of lovely men and did enjoy a few dates when it was worth the babysitting spend - one of whom I'm still in touch with and have vague hopes for once we both get lots of other personal stuff out of the way.

internet dating is a bit addictive I think - you always think Mr Right could be the next one who pops up in the inbox so keep on paying. I may declare myself celibate for the next decade and start again when ds is old enough to be left on his own for the evening!

lindsaygii · 15/12/2009 21:37

I've been wondering this one too, without finding an answer. It's not so much the £25 to meet someone for a first date. It's the £25-50 per week to carry on seeing them...

I have basically decided that I'm shit at choosing men, so it's best all round if I don't bother in future. Don't really want to inflict my choices on DS...

As for celibacy - when I get myself round to it I'm hoping to fall back on the toyboy warehouse!

kdk · 15/12/2009 21:38

@SF - would do that but if I wait til my DTs are old enough that will make me 55 old(er) - already finding it hard enough to meet anyone I find interesting and finds me interesting without the drawback of extreme old age!

To completely change the subject I want to know where everyone else is finding these lovely men they are all with - am very

HanBanan · 19/12/2009 11:27

yeh, where are these fellas? there's got to be some hiding somewhere. Preferably wandering about in the supermarket cos that's the place I frequent the most.

kdk · 19/12/2009 19:47

That or the school playground .... maybe I just need to get out more! Was supposed to be out tonight but just as I was going to get ready my little girl threw up so yet another night watching CSI I guess .... maybe the takeaway delivery guy could be my knight in shining armour?

SingleMum01 · 19/12/2009 19:57

My takeaway delivery guy gave me a bottle last night! Maybe he likes me or more likely I'm a regular customer!

Original poster
spicemonster · 19/12/2009 20:03

I never order takeaways. Perhaps that's where I'm going wrong

OP posts:
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