Almost a year on - bittersweet

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Probably the time of year i should think, but its coming up for a year since i kicked ex dh out. Its most def a year since i found his secret email account with the pictures on ( but i cant rememeber the date).

Its been a shit year -it really has. There have been some good times, and things are picking up. But today for some reason i just feel a little bit sad. Not for him, not for the loss of the marriage. I dont know why. Putting up tree and making christmas food. DD having an excellent time and i just feel a little bit like crying.

I know ive done well, i moved to a new area, im slowly making friends, i had one job, lost it and have just got another to start in the new year. Ive lost 3 stone in weight ( still got 2 to go) ive had my gall bladder out. Lost of things happened this year and i cant quite believe its amost decemeber.

Ive got plans for christmas day and boxing day. Ive got a christmas do to go to. I just feel a little bit like im faking it. I dont know why. I know there are lots of people in a far worst position than me right now. So i shouldnt feel like this ( im sure ill be ok in a bit) but i just needed to post this somewhere where someone might understand. ( also stuck it in relationships )

Just sending you big hugs and lots of sympathy - sounds like you are doing great - and if you sometimes feel like crying, let yourself cry! You've been through a lot and, in any case, there is nothing wrong with a good cry now and then.

I totally understand how you feel. It is perfectly normal to have a melancholy episode from time to time when recovering from a breakup, even a year on. It took me a good 2-3 years to fully recover from my marriage break up and we also split up a few weeks before Christmas.

Although it sounds like you hved had some difficult things happen this year, you have also made some very positive changes in your life too. A new life has to be built over the course of time and you have done so much already to make that happen.

You should be proud of yourself for being so strong (and sometimes you question WHY it always has to be you that is strong!), building a new home for your DD and giving her a fab christmas.

You are going to be ok - allow yourself to cry when you need to - if only for a release!

Who knows WHAT 2010 has in store for you!