has anyone else chosen to go it alone with their second child?

[itshappenedagain]

have a Ds 3.1 yrs and am preg with Lo atm, Los father said if i didnt abort then he would leave and not have anything to do with us. i have made the decision to go it alone with the 2 DC. anyone else in the same position and any tips for handling the transition from 1 to 2.

Hi

Yes I am in the same position but can't offer any tips as am only 10 weeks pregnant! Have only just 100% made up my mind to go it alone and am pretty scared if I am being honest. D 1 is 2years and 4 months. How pregnant are you ?

im 17 weeks and 3 days, have been to get some advice today, was so certain, but then i get the wobbles! arer your children the same father? as mine wont be.

I did My DD's do ahve the same father, we were very on off when I fell pregnant with DD2, he was/is a nasty prick and was playing me and OW!!
When I found out I was pregnant, I had a moment of clarity that I never ever wanted him back, and in fact would much rather do it alone than with him!
My DD1 was older, she was 6, and I wont lie, the first year was very very hard, but I am so much happier with my 2 girls by myself

You will be ok!!

Hi,

I am a single mum to a 5 month old and a nearly 3 year old and have been single since I was about 4 months pregnant.

I think one tip I learnt early on is Cbeebies is your best friend... There have been so many moments when baby has needed a feed or to go down for a nap and I can leave my 2 year old to watch cbeebies while I quickly put baby down upstairs.

Try to organise your home so that you wont have to flit from room to room to get things, I keep nappies and wipes both upstairs and down now as I kept having to pick baby up and move her and toddler to wherever the nappies and wipes were (after spending a good ten mins searching for the wipes!)

Try to get your DS to help you when possible, little things that mean when your feeding baby you wont have to keep getting up (in my case the tv remote lol).

Every week I get myself something that is just for me. The last few weeks I have been getting books and will sit and read when both the girls are asleep. Just something that isnt child orientated really, to give myself a bit of a break.

The first 6 to 8 weeks were the hardest for me, now I have learnt how to juggle having the two of them and I really enjoy being a mum.

I am 21 and have absolutely no family or friends whatsoever to give me some support....if I can do it then I bet you can too!

Good luck and congrats.

Yes I did, when I found out I was pregnant a couple of weeks after I threw my ex out.

Get someone you trust, who will support you and with whom DS gets on, to come and stay with you for the first few weeks. You need all the help you can get, but don't get anyone in who will undermine or criticise you if you can help it (I had no choice).

If you can afford it, get an au-pair. The govt won't pay with tax credits, but they are worth their weight in gold if they are good, because they are young, cheap, enthusiastic and fun, and the kids like them a lot. I found 2 of mine (out of 3) an amazing source of support and friendship and I know they found me the same. When it works, it's a really good 2/ 3/ 4 way relationship.

Get the older child involved, with a sense of ownership of the baby.

That's all I can remember atm.

Herbeatitude, thanks....you just answered my question about the au-pairs on another thread

thankyou all! i think i will be doing this alone again...but will be worse this time as LOs father will cut all ties from the start and has left the country ( to work).
i have good family that live over the road ut will try to do the majority of things on my own.
will keep you al posted!