Yeah me too....wish I'd not dedicated myself to my ex. He seems to have left far too easily. He was a lazy sod and now lives rent-free with his parents. With a new girlfriend etc.
I'm going to vent too because actually I feel quite angry about all this. Talking bout friends etc...Everyone I know keeps saying 'it's a shame you two split up, he's a nice bloke and good with his child'. That really pisses me off because actually I put up with 4 years of emotional abuse from this guy.
I don't want to talk to anyone about how bad it was because it makes me look like a liar but I would like them to know, if that makes sense. I want justice...but I won't get it.
So here goes my little rant about what a shithead he was:
every other day I was called a 'f...ing C u next tuesday' or 'f...ing idiot'
I hated stepping in and then cleaning up his various drunken messes in the morning.(yeah, he used to wee all over the furniture/floors/sink/cot/hoover/my computer uuucckkk) He seemed to think this was funny, after all it wasn't his fault he was sleepwalking. Yeh-but try not getting so drunk!
or asking him why he hadn't brought his wages home again
or why was he going to the pub again etc etc.
He even cleaned out the little savings I was putting into a pot for our daughter.
In all the years I lived with him he probably helped out with the rent as many weeks as I can count on my hands.
I worked a lot of hours with no holidays. Including my pregnancy and 2 weeks after birth. Hernia....
I suppose a lot of it is embarassing. Why the hell did I put up with it? Because he promised me he would change, that he loved me, or I was overemotional (it's just builders talk) or I thought he is nice sometimes.
Consequently his new girlfriend (a 'friend' of mine) has no idea what he's like and I feel really pissed off that everyone seems to think he's great and I'm left in a very insecure situation with a young child and hardly any chances to get out let alone meet someone else.
I went out the other night and it was brilliant to let my hair down, but now I feel crappy again because yet again people were singing his praises about how great a father is. I didn't want to talk about him - they brought it up. They did say I'm 'lovely' etc but that didn't help.
We had the same social group so now I feel very isolated and don't feel I can speak to any of my old friends about what I went through with him, they won't believe me.
It's like I am supposed to just forget the past and act normal. But my life has changed completely and although it's nice to have a more tranquil existance it would be nice not to fell like I've dropped off the side of the world...
Does this get better? I hope so. It seems to be a bit like a rollercoaster, sometimes I'm happy then suddenly it all comes rushing back.
Rant over with, glad I could moan about it because I needed to get it off my chest!!