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Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Lone parents

Do any of you parents have a social life? If so, how?

13 replies

poshsinglemum · 30/10/2009 18:18

I am a bit fed up at the moment as I feel like I don't have a life.

Sorry to moan as I am going to a halloween party tomorrow but generally it's hard.

I have problems as I am not going to work until dd is two. I rely on my parents to baby sit but they are not that reliable and use it to emotionally blackmail me. I hate having to state what time I am going to be back as I feel like a teen again.

I just want to go for a pint in the pub once a week fgs!

I also want to meet some nice men and flirt.

Also, do any of you feel happy alone. Sometimes i think that I am much happier single than in a relationship- I love my independance but would love a shag.

I think I am feeling it as dd has been ill and not eating well. I get soooo worried and need a break.

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DutchGirly · 30/10/2009 19:28

I know exactly how you feel! I think it is a case of building up a network of people that can babysit in turns.

Friends have set up a babysitting circle with their NCT friends where you receive 'vouchers' for every hour that you provide babysitting which you can receive babysitting hours for.

Obviously you need to know these people really well, but it may be worth setting up a similar thing.

I don't know any other lone parents in my area which is a shame as I always think it would be nice to have a 'sleepover' with kids in tow and enjoy a glass of wine and adult conversation whilst the kids sleep.

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SingleMum01 · 30/10/2009 19:51

I know exactly how you feel too. I do go out, but usually just to other lone parents houses, school mum get togethers. To be honest I can't do late nights and early mornings any more!

I also know what you mean about parents sitting - sometimes you want to go out but don't want to have to say where and who with etc.

It would possibly be nice to meet someone, but on the whole I'm quite content on my own, with my own money, independence and no bloody hassle!

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elastamum · 30/10/2009 21:17

Nope, I go to work full time which is 1 1/2 hours away,come home see my kids, do jobs round the house, go to bed, get up and do it all again the next day. I have an aupair but given the long hours I already work I cant really expect babysitting on top. Also my ex moved us 100's of miles for his work before he left about a year ago so i dont know anyone round here. I am absolutely knackered most of the time, pretty lonely and have just been diagnosed with RA...and I get one night a fortnight off when he has the kids, . BUT I have just put my house up for sale as next year I am moving us all back home and I am going to turn my life around (watch this space)

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poshsinglemum · 30/10/2009 21:29

elastamum- you sound like you are doing a great job. I guess it comes with time.

I didn't really settle down before having dd. i just went from being a party girl to being a single mum.

I don't want to be the party girl all the time but just a bit of child free time would be great. When my parents had us they hardly went out and they were martyrs. I don't want to get wrecked ALL the time- just occasionally. I guess talking to adults would be great too!

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Biobytes · 31/10/2009 00:35

I don't go out much, try to go to the cinema or for coffees with friends when DS is with his dad. Other than that, I may invite friends for dinner if I need a bit of an adult conversation which could take place if and only if they arrive after DS has gone to bed.

I try to organise things with other families when DS is around. It is not exactly a night out but still feels as if I have a life.

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Solo2 · 31/10/2009 19:48

Oh yes. I can really sympathise at the moment, with this 'no life for me' thing. I haven't any ex or parents to help out ever, haven't been out in the evening - except to school events - for over 8 yrs, never watch TV at all - as I'm too tired in the evening to do anything but sleep....

I just took off the half term week from work (run my own business) for 'quality time' with the children and one of them was ill with a flu-like thing. So we did pretty much nothing - except I had a few sleepless nights, looking after the sick one...then the other one looked like he was getting ill - but so far hasn't and then I got the virus too - which is shatteringly difficult when you want and need to sleep but end up not even going to bed for several nights and have extra laundry and vomit to clean up from carpets etc....

I really feel like having a moan tonight....We did a v brief Halloween thing in the garden - just me and the 2 DSs and then the sick one was too tired to go on and the other one got frustrated and it all ended badly....

So yeah, join the gang....I don't always feel like this but it's almost a decade of no time at all for me night or day. I've got no childcare - it's only me, all of the time, except when they're at school....Bit grumpy tonight.....but sympathetic to others out there who feel like they need to break free a little...Oh no, DS has just rushed into the room, needing me again...I can't even get 5 minutes alone at all!

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nighbynight · 31/10/2009 20:10

Sigh. I so recognise the lives on this thread.
get up, get children to school, go to work, come home, help with homework, do housework, get children to bed, hour on mumsnet between paying bills & doing business correspondence, sleep, repeat ad infinitum.

I wouldn't know what to do with a free evening anyway, as I have no socialising friends round here, and no family or ex to help with babysitting. Last time I went out was in February, and ds had a homework meltdown, and I was accused of leaving the pub without paying (not true, obviously!).

elastamum - I offer my au pair extra money for babysitting (when I do overtime at work, mostly).

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SingleMum01 · 31/10/2009 22:16

OK so its just past 10 and I'm home, but just like to say been to an awesome kids halloween party and I won the trophy for the sexiest costume (not that it was) but that made my year!

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jamestkirk · 31/10/2009 23:17

well done SM01

i spent the night on the ps2 with ds - keep getting beat but great fun.

didnt go to any parties - had to work and back again tomorrow - the life of a single parent

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Meglet · 01/11/2009 21:27

no social life. Another one who just battles with meal times, nappy changes, nursery drop offs and collections, work, house admin and housework. My family do help out and I make it to the gym once orr twice a week but haven't been out in months. TBH I have no interest in finding a new realtionship, I want to keep the DC's secure and happy, work and somehow earn enough for a bigger house and get back in shape. When I've done that in a few years I might consider a new DP.

But I would love love love to get dressed up (Primark will do) and go out for cocktails and not have to get up and do breakfast in the morning.

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Bellsa · 01/11/2009 21:33

psm-no never go out. so difficult to find a babysitter and family all a log way away. went straight from party girl to mum too-in fact was travelling round the world when pregnancy "intervened". difficult, isn't it.
just being able to go out and cane it for a night would be fab...

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elastamum · 01/11/2009 21:38

At last I got a night out!! Went to a friends last night back where we used to live, we went trick or treating with the kids, drank too much wine and then I had a lie in!!!!! with no dogs, kids or horses to get up for - first in months, bliss - and then I found the house I am going to buy when this one gets sold. It is a little old cottage with a big garden for my kids and a view to die for!!

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yappy · 06/11/2009 13:06

Have you asked at school if there are any teenagers that need some extra cash?

I've discovered a teenage daughter of a friend. We really like her, she's very sensible, I'm not late back ever. It's given me a new lease of life and it's affordable.