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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Anyone else losing their dcs for the holidays?

8 replies

passmyglassplease · 23/10/2009 18:50

Am mega depressed as the dcs have been whisked away to grandparents as their father doesn't have the time to spend with them

I get many comments like 'lucky you' or 'wish I could have a week off from the dcs'

I am just gonna miss them so much they are my raison d'etre

anyone else out there feeling the same as me?

OP posts:
yerblurt · 23/10/2009 20:02

You're raison d'etre?

... god help you when they grow up and leave home, what will you do with your life.

Children have 2 parents and love them equally, the children are not a possession.

Just be glad that they are having a good time with their extended family and developing those bonds with their family. That is good for their development.

Vidanueva · 23/10/2009 20:20

The first full day of school was weird. DS2 has always come home for dinner and the change really threw me. I literally didn´t know what to do with myself and wanted to cry - no break, whatsoever. So, yes, I understand the feeling out of sorts.
Not everyone will understand - it is the walking-a-mile-thing, isn´t it?
The solutions are various:
keep busy
do nice things
do nothing and wallow (Why not? Why shouldn´t you miss them?)
get on a train and go to London, as in, do something you can´t do when they are with you
spend hours on the internet
watch films they wouldn´t want to watch
sort something for yourself
catch up on sleep
have a lie-in
Hope you survive OK and like everything, it does pass, before you know it, half-term will be over and they will be home.

passmyglassplease · 23/10/2009 22:11

I don't treat them as possessions, they are my family and when they are gone I miss them.

I was expressing an emotion of loss, what is so wrong with that!

yeblurt you know nothing of my situation, so don't make assumptions

OP posts:
gingertoo · 23/10/2009 22:22

I totally understand how you feel

My boys have had an inset day today so I got to spend the day with them but they are going their dad's in the morning

I know that they need to see their dad.
I know that it is good that they have a good relationship with their dad.
If their father hadn't left me I would never have spent so much time away from them.
I miss them.

So, op, missing them is totally normal and acceptable

I get through it by catching up on all my housework etc while they are away so that when they get home on weds, I can take them out for days and snuggle up with them in the evenings with a dvd.
It's crap, but I suppose we just have to enjoy the times when our dcs are with us

passmyglassplease · 23/10/2009 22:28

et aussi yerblurt,si vous comprenez la langue française, vous devez également interpréter la expression "raison d'être.

Il n'est pas toujours simple d'exprimer

OP posts:
passmyglassplease · 23/10/2009 22:34

thank you Vidanueva and gingertoo, I am glad it isn't just me who feels like this.

I understand that it is important to see their father which is why they are with him.

And yes I will go out, see friends, catch up on the house work and appreciate the time I have to myself, but equally I will be glad to have them home

Hope all the rest of you enjoy your space too

OP posts:
Vidanueva · 24/10/2009 19:54

One day down, already, keep going. Hope you have had a good one.

Space - well, yes - I went back to bed, on my own without anyone shouting for help or attention. Got to the library, banks, and Asda without anyone pleading for halloween tat (and I like halloween tat!), plastic rubbish and half a dozen other things. But, it was great when they walked back in the door.

Chocol8isLikeaBeautifulEngine · 24/10/2009 22:31

PMGP, imagine your children having a wonderful time with their grandparents and when they come back, remember how lucky they are to have a family. It might also be their raison d'être aussi.

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