Has anyone made veiled comments about your lp status at work?

[sincitylover]

try to be short, have worked in my ft job for ten years, split with exh three years ago. it is slightly more difficult workwise being a lp but exh was not particularly supportive when we were married.

Anyway someone who loosely works with us (not my line manager) has suddenly said(not to me directly) that they don't feel I have been giving enough support to them (I'm not a PA I am a manager)

general theme of work is event organising. it's apparent that they are more wound up about the events.

They are retired work for as consultant and are paid handsomely. The main tenet of their concern is that they have to chase me too much whereas I thought we were just having a dialogue as I do with the many others I work with. Their email was outwardly pleasant but enought veiled stuff to sting a bit.

But the thing that really got to me was them saying they realised my difficult family circumstances. I have never discussed this with them. And have been lp for three years so nothing new there.

I have replied basically saying sorry they felt neglected and am going to delegate this area of my work to the administrator.

Would you be miffed if reference was made to this by someone so disconnected.

sorry wound up about the events than I am. I am confident we will get the number of people they seem uber anxious.

should also add I have not had a 'bad review' since I have been there and our dept is often held up as an example of good practice

I sort of wonder what her problem is?

yes, I'd be very miffed, like this:

Like you say, it's someone disconnected, how dare they bring up your circumstances... especially when you yourself never have. Totally presumptious, unprofessional and not on.

You've already replied to their e-mail but I'd have said something along the lines of 'my family circumstances are fine, thank you and I fail to see their bearing on this matter'

Way out of order, and very unprofessional to talk about your family life if you havent brought it to work.

thanks both - it was done in the guise of being sympathetic but I've come across people like this before.

Basically an attempt in some way to put me in my place for some reason. As I said the events had all run quite succesfully.

I did tell her that there had been no change in my family circumstances for three years and that a greater pressure had been two organisational related issues.

I bought this up in my appraisal today perhaps opening the proverbial can of worms. My line manager said that they do feel they sometimes have to chase me. But conceded that's because we are so busy. Sometimes I am chasing them FFS. Isn't that called communication.

What I lack in organisational skills I make up for in other areas I do know that much.

But feel a bit knocked by it. Not really sure what the original person's agenda is.

Just posted on your other thread so will put reply here as well.

I would be more than miffed, I would be quite pissed off.

I think this person is being passive aggressive and it's sooo annoying. Your family situation is irrelevant. If they feel they need more support they should just ask for it directly and not blame you.

Anyway, you handled the situation professionally and I wouldn't give it another thought.

HTH