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Recently single and finding it hard occupying s active boys. Im knackered and want to sit down!!!!

10 replies

shatteredmumsrus · 29/08/2009 16:59

Advice please as they are constantly on the go and want to do stuff

OP posts:
thesouthsbelle · 30/08/2009 09:22

honestly, I only have 1 3 yo, but we spend time in the park, with his friends wearing their selves out, or when all else fails we have a movie day (this is when I really can't be arsed) I get popcorn & ice cream and he picks a movie. the blanket comes out, he watches and I dose.

zookeeper · 30/08/2009 09:26

Hi Shattered

I know exactly where you're coming from - when my ex and I separated didn't see our dcs (then aged 6 3 and 2 for five months. I was on my knees with exhaustion.

Tell me how old yours are and I'll think of some survivial tips..

zookeeper · 30/08/2009 09:27

and will they see their dad?

shatteredmumsrus · 30/08/2009 10:45

they are 4 and 8. They do see their dad but not much. Thankyou

OP posts:
zookeeper · 30/08/2009 12:19

Ok shattered it is hard and recognising that and being kind to yourself and treating yourself as you would a friend in the same situation will help.

these are things that helped me; -

Go out every single day, even if it is just to the shops to get milk - the fresh air will lift all your moods and you're less likely to want to kill them if you're outside!

Really work on getting a bedtime routine going - if you know that, eg, come 8 o'clock all will be quiet and you can have some time to yourself then everything will become more bearable . At least once a week make sure that you have a really early night - or if you can't sleep go to bed with a magazine or book so at least you are resting. Everything seems so much worse if you are tired.

Accept all offers of help, even if you find it hard. Make contacts with mums at the school so they can help with the odd school run/ dropping one of them back after a party etc

Seek out other single mums for support - lovely though my married friends are they just don't understand the sheer grind that being a lone parent can be

Get big baskets for their toys and train them to chuck their toys in them - less housework for you.

try to keep at least one room in the house reasonably tidy which is good for your morale if nothing else.

if you find yourself thinking negative thoughts consciously concentrate on things that you are proud of - that you are out of a negative relationship, that your children are lovely, etc.

Treat yourself to something nice once a week - a coffee and a paper in a cafe when they are at school, a new lipstick , a bunch of flowers. It doesn't have to be expensive, just something for you to congratulate yourself on being a mum who is doing the best for her kids.

I hope I don't sound patronising and I know I haven't really dealt with what to do with their energy levels but I honestly think it is more about caring for you so that you have the strength and energy to cope with them.

Good luck - I felt like you two years ago and still sometimes get overwhelmed with it all but my home is so much happier and stable now that I am out of a bad relationship with my dcs' father and the dcs are happier and more stable for it.

iliketurquoise · 31/08/2009 04:47

very nice post zookeeper
how do you arrange studying-doing homework times? do you sit with them?

zookeeper · 31/08/2009 05:34

Ah yes. homework. Loathe it with a vengeance. I just grit my teeth and sit with them for half an hour after they've eaten at about six.I can just about handle the reading but maths homework at the end of the day when we're all tired is a step too far!! It's amazing what you can do in half an hour though.

iliketurquoise · 31/08/2009 07:33

thanks for your answer zookeeper.
i am doing similar here for the homeworks. but there are some subjects i feel my dc is a bit behind, for example maths.
i want to study together but being rejected i cannot take any further.

zookeeper · 31/08/2009 10:42

I know turquoise, the maths worries and depresses me - my eldest is now just eight and I'm already finding his maths homewrok, err challenging .

He will be going to after school club a lot this term with his siblings and the teacher there says that she will do their homework with them which if it works out will be an enormous help.

It's so hard trying to be everything to each of them isn't it?

iliketurquoise · 31/08/2009 12:39

yes it is very hard zookeeper.

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