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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

did you have an op

47 replies

Katrina7 · 21/07/2009 22:37

hi,
did any of you had to have an operation? What happens to the baby if you have to stay in hospital?
Katrina7

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Original poster

Katrina7 · 22/07/2009 00:01

I think because i had bad time since the start of the pregnancy and didnt want to think bout the op, just put it in the back of my mind to deal with the other stuff.
And today had appoitment with the consultant and because of my hormones became paranoid and lied that i had family.
But from what you are saying it seems simpler and easier

OP posts:

1dilemma · 22/07/2009 00:03

Ah yes I'm sure you will get something suitable sorted 4 weeks is lots of time.

FluffyBunnyGoneBad · 22/07/2009 00:07

It is easy but if you need treatment after then you will need some support. You are not expected to go through this alone.

Original poster

Katrina7 · 22/07/2009 00:08

fluffy will chefck the other thread. its ok don't need link, tnx. But typing very slow and my computer has problem .

1 dilema,
yes am due in 4 weeks. He explained me everything about the op and therapy but will give me date for the op after the baby is born, next month. He said this type doesn't spread fast so can be aftr 2 months after the baby.

OP posts:

FluffyBunnyGoneBad · 22/07/2009 00:10

It is late so alot of people would have gone to bed. Check it again tomorrow when people are around.

Original poster

Katrina7 · 22/07/2009 00:12

blinks thank you

And Weege thank you too and dont worry for mentioning dh. I dont want to shoot them all (just my ex)

OP posts:

Original poster

Katrina7 · 22/07/2009 00:14

yes flufy
i will. I don't know what to say to youu. Honestly. thank you

Good night x

OP posts:

FluffyBunnyGoneBad · 22/07/2009 00:15

You are welcome. Keep coming back. If I can help then I will be more then happy to.

1dilemma · 22/07/2009 00:34

Ah well that's good news, agree with checking again earlier sometimes worth re-posting if you feel your question has got 'lost' IYSWIM

PurpleOne · 22/07/2009 01:18

Where are you in London Katrina?

Have you tried Homestart, or SureStart??

Social services will be able to help you too.

Catitainahatita · 22/07/2009 04:05

Katrina, I've just seen your post. I'm really sorry you are facing another problem at this stage of your pregnancy. I wish I could offer some practical help, but don't really know what to say.
I'm sure if you bump your thread tomorrow morning/afternoon you'll get lots of wise replies very soon.

In the meantime, a big hug and lots of support from Mexico.

Catitainahatita · 22/07/2009 04:06

Not that I mean to imply that you haven't got some good advice so far. Sorry to all those who preceeded with very useful ideas.

Original poster

Katrina7 · 22/07/2009 04:14

i am in borough of harringey.
no i have not tell homestart or surestart yet. the past 8 months i knew about my health and the op but i was not thinking about it, i was too socked with everything and too hurt with my ex. All i was doing was crying.
then everytime i went to hospital i smile and say i am very well and very happy, because i did not want them to know how upset i am and that i have not family because i thought maybe they will put the baby into care system.
But now that everybody here said that they will not take the baby away i am going to tell them the truth that i am completely alone. I am tired of lying and tired of smiling. i will tell everybody the truth and let them to help me. i am so tired.

OP posts:

Original poster

Katrina7 · 22/07/2009 04:29

omg. we were typing the same time. i went to bed but then woke up and came too check the threaad.
yes they gave me advice and help. I will tell the hospital the truth now.
But Catita you know is not all bad. at least i have made it until here and the baby is ok until here and you know how i have started this pregnancy, so in a way i am a bit beter now.

(and no, this is not something new.but i didn't want to write in in my posts before. i don't know i just didn't want. but this is why i was so HURT when my ex said i planned the pregnancy . i was leaving his country that day, had buy the air ticket and i was coming to london for biopsy. how could i fall pregnant on purpose? thats why i have been so hurt and depressed and pathetic the last 8 months). But i am stronger now

OP posts:

Original poster

Katrina7 · 22/07/2009 04:32

the first message was to Purpleone and second to Catita

OP posts:

twinklytoes · 22/07/2009 06:34

your health visitor should be able to help too. once baby is here I would ask the health visitor to start the ball rolling with a referral for a homestart volunteer. they'll be able to come in help once you are out of hospital but if you get linked sooner will give you time to build relationship.

Catitainahatita · 22/07/2009 14:50

Sorry Katrina, I had to go to bed after writing my last post. I am really glad you are seeing some good things in what has happened (not least you will have a beautiful baby very soon! )

I remember you telling me that your mum wasn't that badly off back home. Do you think she could loan you some money and perhaps you could also see about getting paid help while you were in the hospital?? It's only a suggestion, and obviously a very expensive one. If it's not an option for you, I didn't mean to offend or upset you.

I've gor my fingers and toes crossed for you and the baby.

Original poster

Katrina7 · 22/07/2009 22:44

Hello,
ok i feel a lot better now, a lot lighter. I will speak to everybody now doctor, midwife, surestart . i feel confident now. Am going to research all the options and childminders aswell. And Catita of course you don't offend me.(and you have helped me so much before). Yes if it is very costy i will in the end ask my parents to help me financially. But to be honest i prefer not to, but i will see first what happens. because depends how long everything will take etc.
Thank you all and especially Fluffy x

OP posts:

1dilemma · 22/07/2009 22:58

glad to hear you feel a bit lighter

come back and tell us how you get on
we can all give you advice on schools in a few years!!

weegiemum · 22/07/2009 23:02

Catita - sorry, totally off topic, but should you not be "El Gato Ensombrerado"? (I am doing a Spanish course and had to read it and translate into Spanish!!!)

Catitainahatita · 23/07/2009 03:19

Weegiemum
Well yes, it's a name based on one of my DH's more endearing habits of making Spanish diminutives of English words (he's Mexican by the way). As in, for example, "see you tomorrowito" and the like. There is already a cat in the hat on Mumsnet, so I adopted the diminutive as a reflection on my midgit-like proportions.

Karina Big wave. Do tell us how youet on with talking to all these people.

sooey76 · 17/08/2009 10:03

Social services can not take your child away. If you have to ask them to look after the baby, then they are simply looking after them as a childminder would. they will give you the contact details of who is looking after your baby, and you can request the baby back whenever.I know as my ex left my children home alone while I was in hospital(infection after giving birth), my 12 day old was brought back into hospital to be with me-i was on the labour/maternity ward though.I had no family to look after my children and was too ill to go home and find someone.
This was all explained to me by the social worker, as I was worried because they were thinking about putting my kids on the at risk register because of his behaviour, and I was worried I wouldn't get them back,but I did, and no further action was taken.
I know it's scary, but the baby probably won't even notice, and you need to do what is best for your health- for yours and the baby's sake.

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