I totally agree. I and my sister who lives on benefits (her choice!) had a baby at the same time. Her baby has all new stuff (she said- only the best for her little girl when I offered her some of the things I got from friends) and mine has freebies and second hand items. Oh well! She got a nice big grant, well two, and I received nothing. Oh and she drives a brand new car, has a nice new, free modern apartment, and plenty of benefits. She's just booked a holiday to Florida. I can't afford to buy anything! Oh well!, again.
But I agree with the others. You do have more options in the long term when you work. Like you, I live completely on the breadline and work hard, juggle kids, etc. But, I feel 'alive' and on top of things and I have an identity. I don't get bored, I enjoy intellectual conversations and I feel my life is fuller. My children also benefit from having a mum like this I think. Though I'm not saying mum's on benefits don't offer this, as everyone's situation is different and there are many intelligent, hard working, brilliant mums out there on benefits through no choice of their own. But, yeah, it can make you think why you put yourself through it all when you're exhausted from it all.
I started giving my two packed lunches for this year and cook a family meal for them in the afternoon/early evening. For packed lunch they are given tubs of fruit, which I prepare myself, cheese cut from a large slab of cheese, salad, and they have something like tuna sandwiches. They also have aptimal and yoghurt. My kids didn't really eat much of their school dinner, but they do eat their packed lunch so I prefer that. It seems to cost me a similar amount, but this way I know I'm paying for something they do eat.
I know what you mean about people pretending not to have partners, when actually they do have. I know a good few who live that way. I don't think it's a good way to live though.