never really thought I would posting here

[Titania]

But here I am. H and I decided to call it a day yesterday. This morning he took his stuff and has moved back in with his mum. We had yet another row, another time of him belittling me. I decided a while ago really that it was over and this time I stood my ground. He spent half the night trying to convince me that if we were to split up I should be the one to leave cos I didn't want the kids if I didn't want him....sigh...then I told him that I wasn't in love with him anymore. That I needed some independance. He was so against me driving and going to college. All he wanted was for me to stay at home, have lots of kids and stay here to look after them 24/7. He then changed his tune saying that I should give him another chance to put things right and to change. I told him that it still wouldn't make me fall in love with him again. He said he didn't mind....he just wanted me around and that he still loved me. I said that it wasn't what I wanted...

Sorry....will quite rambling now.....sure you've heard enough....
I'm not sure how to feel about it really, or if I have even done the right thing but still. Not sure what to do now TBH.....

[flum]

Sorry to hear that Titania. But it does sound as if he made you miserable. You will feel numb and confused for a while but this is an inbetween time to gather your thoughts and look ahead to the future.

Controlling men are very debilitating and they take a long time to get over, but you WILL be glad of your independance.

I wish you the best of luck.

[Titania]

am crying again.....just heard a song on the radio.....seemed as though it was done for me.....

will just find the lyrics.....

[Titania]

LUCIE SILVAS LYRICS

What You're Made Of


Just like I predicted, We're at the point of no return
We can go backwards, and no corners have been turned.
I can't control it, if I sink or if I swim
'cause I chose the water that I'm in.

[BRIDGE]
And it makes no difference who is right or wrong
I deserve much more than this
'Cause there's only one thing I want

[CHORUS]
If it's not what you're made of
You're not what I'm looking for
You were willing but unable to give me anymore
There's no way, You're changing, cause somethings will just never be mine,
You're not love this time ... but it's allright.

I hear you talking, but your words don't mean a thing.
I doubt you ever put your heart in anything.
It's not much to ask for, to get back what I put in,
But I chose the waters that I'm in.

[BRIDGE]
And it makes no difference who is right or wrong
I deserve much more than this
'Cause there's only one thing I want

[CHORUS]
If it's not what you're made of
You're not what I'm looking for
You were willing but unable to give me anymore
There's no way, You're changing, cause somethings will just never be mine
You're not love this time ... but it's allright.

What's your definition of the one
What you really want him to become?
No matter what I sacrifice it's still never enough

Just like I predicted
I will sink before I swim
'cause these are the waters that I'm in

[CHORUS]
If it's not what you're made of
You're not what I'm looking for
You were willing but unable to give me anymore
There's no way, You're changing, cause somethings will just never be mine
You're not love this time
You're not love this time
You're not love this time ...

[Amanda1]

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[Tessiebear]

Have never posted on one of your threads before - but i really think this may be a fresh start for you and your children - and may have been the source of your unhappiness - good luck!

[Titania]

was supposed to be going to counselling today but had to cancel.....got nobody to look after the kids now.... Suppose I should go and get the kids dressed.....

[Amanda1]

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[sahara]

Hey Titania.

Sorry you are down again. FWIW I think you have done the right thing. I try over and over again to split with an abusive husband but he won't let me go, or give me peace. But hey I made my bed and now I have to lie in it.

But as to your councilling, When I was alone and had no support I recieved councilling at home as they knew I couldn't arrange childcare. It was done through a group called Homestart and they are wonderful.

They run groups for people who are alone with no support. Ask your HV to refer you.

I am being referred again as once again I find myself in a new area with no friends or family. I am alone.

Don't get down, I wish I could stand my ground the way you have.

Good luck

[Cadbury]

Hi T. I can't stop to post at the mo - have to be somewhere minutes ago. I just wanted to let you know that I had seen this. Hang in there. You have been very brave. I'll be around a bit later.

Hugs D/C xxxxxxxxxx

[Caligula]

Get on to Homestart Titania, and when you're feeling down, just remember how much worse you felt when you were with him.

It takes time to move on and you need to sit and grieve. Just be good to yourself and take it one day at a time.

[Lizzylou]

You have really been brave and decisive in making the break from this man, don't stop now!!!
Take the plunge and arrange Homestart, and try and be proud of what you have achieved so far, this is the start of something brilliant for you and your children xxx

[nutcracker]

Well you already know what I think, but i'll say it again. IMO you have made the right desicion and have been incredibly strong in doing so.

Your young and and have your whole life ahead of you, you shouldn't waste it with someone you don't want to be with.

[Janna]

I'd echo what others have said about Homestart too. At the very least you'll probably get a volunteer to help you whether it's just a friendly ear to practical help with the kids. I get to go to the family group too which I've found a godsend this past year (i'm on my own too) and i've made a few good friends that I wouldn't have met before.
Where abouts in shropshire are you? Are you any where near Ellesmere? I live about 10 miles from there just over the welsh border.

[Titania]

i am just down the road from ellesmere

[Janna]

so your not really that far from me. I love ellesmere, really nice place, haven't been for a while though

[Surfermum]

I was unhappy in a relationship for years, partly because he didn't want children and I did. I eventually made the decision to move out and away from the area. It was very scary and I can remember packing my little Fiesta to the roof with my things and setting off for the south coast. I felt like I'd stepped off a cliff but totally liberated at the same time. I can honestly say it was the best thing I ever did and I have never looked back. Well done for making this step, I really hope it works out for you Titania.

[gothicmama]

Titania uni out for summer get in touch if you need to.
Can someone let titania know if she needs my support I 'm here she knows how to get in touch

[stitch]

hope youre feeling well titania
how are the kids without their dad around?

[rickman]

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[stitch]

oh dear....
how is she dealing with it? did she want him back?

[rickman]

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[rickman]

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[stitch]

thanx rickman.