what to do about birthday?

[EyePeam]

It is my birthday later this week. It will be the third birthday I've had since DH died. The first was hellish, I stayed in bed most of the day and cried. Saw no-one, turned the phone off and wallowed. Last year's was nice, I made plans to see a couple of friends, went out for dinner and a few drinks locally.

This year ... I just don't know how I feel. At the moment very meh about it. Also not great as I will be turning the age that DH was when he died so not a great number in my head IYSWIM. I also feel very tearful and sooo angry with the world in general today.

A lovely friend has offered to come over and cook me dinner, I've arranged to see her next week instead, don't know why I did that but couldn't be bothered with the idea of someone coming over (I know, soooo much bother someone coming to MY house to cook for ME - that's just the mood I'm in at the moment).

Really can't decide what to do or if just to do nothing. Bit worried that I'll get to the day itself and then be horribly down if I have no plans. Thought I would ask here and see if anyone has any thoughts or experiences of having to do birthdays alone.

Thanks

Not in your situation so don't knwo what to advise but didn't want it going unanswerede. Would you like to go out with your friend instead, or go to hers? Go and do something you either did with dh a lot, or something different that you would never have done with dh - a sort of new start and all that? I'm sorry, I'm propbably rambling. Hope you get through it OK.

I'd tend to do somethign myself unless your friend is a close one and doesn't mind a few tears or quiet moments if you get upset. Sometimes its nice to have someone there to talk to at times like this but unfortunately some people try and avoid the subject of death as they don't know how to deal with it.