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Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Lone parents

Is anyone around? I got divorced today...

22 replies

SuperBunny · 26/06/2009 01:50

and I'm all confused.

The only 2 people I know who have been divorced are away so I can't talk to them.

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staylucky · 26/06/2009 01:55

What's up? Are you pleased or not?

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SuperBunny · 26/06/2009 02:53

I'm relieved. It's taken 3 1.2 years and has been horrendous. But it's still a bit sad. I don't know. I thought I'd be thrilled but I'm not. Bit of an anti climax, really.

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SuperBunny · 26/06/2009 02:53

thanks for posting, lucky

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Califrau · 26/06/2009 03:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SuperBunny · 26/06/2009 03:29

Thank you.

I am weepy and happy and when I see DS, I just want to cry. He's so lovely , and kind and sweet and he's officially MINE. And I worry how this will all affect him.

And what I really want is a hug from someone and a pat on the back but everyone is in bed and it's too hot for hugs. And, my best friend doesn't hug anyone. See, now I'm being silly

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OrangeFish · 26/06/2009 03:40

My boyfriend was saying the same last week... he expected to be thrilled but was very sad instead. His ex said the same. I guess it's more about this being an end of an era and probably a bit of mourning for what could have been (or so I hope, he is with me now, and his ex is getting married soon, so it's not as if it has been sudden but still hurts )

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SuperBunny · 26/06/2009 03:46

Yes, I think that's it. It's the end of an era - the end of what was but, for me, not what could have been.

I was happy, it went wrong and that was sad. It always will be sad. we were together for a long time.

But, onwards and upwards...

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jabberwocky · 26/06/2009 03:52

Oh, Bunny, I know the feelings you have - at least to a point. I was with ex-H for 6 years and I well remember what high hope and expectations I had and the feelings afterwards when the divorce was final

But you have your lovely little Dinner and you will be headed home soon

And you have us

And you now have men coming out of the woodwork apparently so there is life after divorce...I promise.

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jabberwocky · 26/06/2009 03:53

I've had a bit of wine, hence the extensive use of emoticons

And I did remember to think of you today.

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ninedragons · 26/06/2009 05:33

You sound like a woman in need of champagne.

You're well into the territory of worn cliche, but while it's sad to close one chapter that didn't work out as you had hoped it would, you now have the rest of your life to look forward to.

Few things on earth make me sadder than those elderly couples one sometimes encounters who don't like each other and haven't done for 40 years. I heard of one woman who held a party when her hated (but never divorced) husband finally died at 80. What a waste of a life, stuck together in a miserable marriage.

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LadyOfWaffle · 26/06/2009 05:38

oh SB! {{hugs}} This is the point where your life can really start... you've been in a rut so long x I can totally understand why you are abit... shell shocked I guess though {{hugs}}

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staylucky · 26/06/2009 10:01

superbunny Hugs hun xxxxxxx

At the ripe old age of 27 i've managed two divorces. In my humble opinion however you feel it's entirely natural and it's far too soon to be able to put it into persepective.

I felt like such a f*ck up after both mine but once i'd been able to move on and start being happy it all made much more sense.

Go easy on yourself x x x

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OrangeFish · 26/06/2009 13:08

I think I will feel awful when we finaly get the decree absolute... despite all the bad things he was the one and only family I had in the last 10 years... I will feel a bit of an orphan...

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brightwell · 26/06/2009 15:24

I can remember feeling a bit "empty",when the absolute can through. Friends had said we should celebrate but I think I was just relieved it was all finally over.

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SuperBunny · 26/06/2009 17:14

Thank you all for the lovely comments. I did celebrate in a way - I spent the afternoon doing lovely things with DS and have had lots of lovely emails from friends. I'm ok today. I have been asked on a date (but refused) and am busy packing and working out what to do next. I'm sure things will be a bit up and down over the coming weeks.

It's always nice to hear from people who know what it is like, and I am very grateful to those of you who, thankfully, haven't been through this but are here to support me anyway. MN can be so lovely

Staylucky - you made me feel better good luck Orange.

Bring on the cliches and the champers

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tigerlili · 26/06/2009 18:15

It is a very weird feeling, friends at work bought me a happy divorce card!very funny if you have a warped sense of humour!

it is definately a sense of loss!BUT i gained a life back, and to be honest am meeting new people and developing a social life i NEVER would have had before.

Ds is a happier young lady and mummy is a happier mummy!

it is weird, take it one day at a time hugs((((((((((((((((((())))))))))))))))))))

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ninedragons · 27/06/2009 06:25

You've been asked out on a date? Blimey, you're fast out of the blocks, aren't you?

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ninedragons · 27/06/2009 06:26

sorry, just re-read that and I could sound like some sanctimonious old Mormon or something.

There should be multiple etc

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SuperBunny · 27/06/2009 15:02

lol

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OrangeFish · 28/06/2009 12:09

Ninedragons! do you have an idea how long you can be spearated before the divorce finally comes through? (days, weeks, months, even years and... still counting...ahum)

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SuperBunny · 28/06/2009 14:34

No idea, mine was done overseas and the rules are different. Still, 3 1/2 years... (I was told the average here is 2 yrs)

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sunshine13 · 29/06/2009 08:51

Personally I cant wait till my divorce comes through. For me, it will officially mean that part of my life is over. Luckily I havent got long to go now. Woohoo!

I get a bit weepy when I am reminded of things that happened or scars that annoyingly hang about today. I have no regrets though, except that I wasted so much time. I expect that I shall be weepy when the Absolute comes through but I shall have a cry- then rejoice. Life is too short to be miserable.

Good news about being asked out on a date mind but only date when you're ready. Sounds like you're not ready to move on.

Dont worry- be happy!