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Lone parents

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Original poster

ex left me and my unborn

15 replies

alisha29 · 24/05/2009 00:08

hi i need some advice from some wise mners, 6 years ago i meet a bloke thought was in love got pregnant and he split up with me told me to have an abortion wanted to go back to his old gf, havent spoke since we split looked for him on fb and all that didnt find him but did find a relative emailed him and he spoke to him and he said she knows where i am then his relative gets nasty turns it round on me and blocks me from his fb what do i do, thanks for reading

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FluffyBunnyGoneBad · 24/05/2009 00:10

6 years ago? That's a long time. If he's not interested then there isn't alot you can do. He's an arsehole dear. You had a lucky escape.

MrsRaikkonen · 24/05/2009 00:11

Hi Alisha29, so sorry your ex is such an idiot I was in the same situation as you, I split with my ex when I was pregnant with my son. If he is being nasty then it sounds like you are better off without him in your life - it's his loss because he obviously has no idea about what he is missing out on!

Original poster
alisha29 · 24/05/2009 00:20

yes thats what i thought hes such a gourgeous bright boy and its heartbreaking i dont want him to hate me when hes older cause i didnt try harder

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Original poster
alisha29 · 24/05/2009 00:22

mrsraikkonen does your child see his dad?

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FluffyBunnyGoneBad · 24/05/2009 00:23

He won't hate you. You can take a horse to water but you can't make it drink. Have you heard of this one? Your son's better off without someone like this. Just be honest with your son when he's older. Tell him how much he's loved and wanted by the family he has around him.

MrsRaikkonen · 24/05/2009 00:23

Well, my kids are 10 and 11 now, and they know that I tried contacting my ex, it is him that does not bother. It is a sad situation, but I do the best I can for my kids and we manage just fine! I'm sure your son will grow up knowing that you have his best interests at heart. He won't hate you.

Original poster
alisha29 · 24/05/2009 00:37

my son knows how much i love him and i love him more than anything in this world i would die for him i will be honest with him and i will tell him about his dad but its horrible to think he has uncles nieces nan and grandad out their that wont know him. yes his dad is a horrible person i just cant belive how heartless they are and i know his dad will lie when my son finds him when hes older hes a very good lier

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FluffyBunnyGoneBad · 24/05/2009 00:39

Your son will be able to work things out for himself. A boy's relationship with his mum is a lovely thing, he will love you no matter what. He'll see through any lies.

MrsRaikkonen · 24/05/2009 00:44

Please don't worry about what may or may not happen in the future. IF your son ends up meeting his dad one day, if you are honest with him, then he will be able to see through any lies. Just concentrate on now, ignore the nasty ex and his family, as you don't need that in your life!
My kids now know that they have a gran and grandad, I wrote them a letter to them on their behalf about a year ago, and they threatened to call the police if I contacted them again lol! How ridiculous...... just remember that you have your lovely little boy and the ex and his family are missing out on everything because of their own stupidity!

Original poster
alisha29 · 24/05/2009 00:45

i hope so thankyou for taking the time to read my thread and reply i didnt know weather to carry on trying but its a hopless cause hes a nasty piece of work think i will let my son make his own mind up when he is older and i will tell him everything i can about his dad

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Original poster
alisha29 · 24/05/2009 00:48

some people are unbeliveable they dont deserve to be in your sons life i dont understand how someone can do that to a child, thats a good idea but i think his nan and grandad have moved but its worth a shot

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MrsRaikkonen · 24/05/2009 00:52

I eventually got in touch with my sister-in-law, she's a mumsnetter! I met her about 2 years ago, and the kids are in touch with their cousins even though close family do not bother. Sometimes it really isn't worth the hassle I'm afraid! But at least you will be able to tell your son that you tried your hardest to let them be involved in his life.

Original poster
alisha29 · 24/05/2009 00:56

dont know what the effect is on him though i let him get away with a lot and hes a bit spoilt and im overprotective and i know it to i feel so gulity im try to make it up to him in some way, thats great news mrsr.

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MrsRaikkonen · 24/05/2009 01:00

Being a single parent is one of the hardest jobs going, but there are plenty of us around! You have no reason to feel guilty, it was your ex who created the situation and if he doesn't want to be involved then so be it - just do the best you can and your son will be just fine

Original poster
alisha29 · 24/05/2009 01:06

thankyou to both of you for making me see sense

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