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Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Lone parents

Ive just done something really stupid

42 replies

fairyfly · 05/05/2005 18:53

I was on the phone to my x. I was complaining i couldn't afford simple things for my kids and i really needed a few days off to get some things done. He replied that i if i didn't spend all my time "fucking" i would have lots of time to get my chores done. Also then he told me he was buying a car and had just past his test. I honestly dont need to hear that when i have no money.

Anyhow i hung up, rang up a friend of his family, who is reasonable, who has kids and hysterically screamed down the phone that i have put up with it for two years now quietly. That everyone has to be aware how he is not taking on any responsibility, that he is abusive. I totally ranted. I have not spoken to the woman since he left, I then said how i have never heard from anyone in all this time and i think it is disgusting i have been left to raise two children they all supposedly love all by myself without any outside concern.
All she could say was, errr i dont know what to say. I screamed well now you have prior warning that if i stop all access you know why. I got no feedback from her, she just said, oh dear. I now feel like a complete tosspot.

OP posts:

Report

snafu · 05/05/2005 20:06

Oh, jesus, he is a wankstain. Sorry I can't think of anything more constructive ff. You're not in a fantasy world, it should be better than this, I'm so sorry that it's shite.

Drizzle · 05/05/2005 20:06

Are you serious about lowering your standards, excepting x's faults etc??

Cos I think bollocks to that. Never lower your standards!

motherinferior · 05/05/2005 20:09

What you should remember, babe, is just how far you've come. So you lost it. But hey, you didn't lose it with him. You didn't beg him to come back. You may have let him wind you up - well hey, you're not an android, the guy is a prize tosser whose sole skill is winding people up IMO - but that's all.

And he is clearly mad as a hornet that you are shagging someone rather than yearning over him, isn't he.

fairyfly · 05/05/2005 20:28

Sometimes i feel like i have got nowhere, considering i still live here, still on benefits, still effected by him.

I suppose i have to think about how i could barely function when he left

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motherinferior · 05/05/2005 20:48

Exactly. You are a gorgeous bright talented funny woman who has kept her boys going, started a new course, pulled her life together and shagged a new bloke.

zebraX · 05/05/2005 20:52

FF, you are so much better (coherent, confident, sensible (hahaha, I know "sensible" and Fairyfly may seem like incompatible words, but I'm being sincere!!)) --
than you were when I first came to MN & you were struggling with letting go of him. I guess you still are, in some ways, but you have come a long way, you know you have.

Sounds like your rant at the Friend of his Family was overdue...

fairyfly · 06/05/2005 09:49

oh thankyou mi and zebra, that really means a lot to me

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Bugsy2 · 06/05/2005 10:40

Oh FairyFly, I really do sympathise. I have really crap days too, when I feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders & my ex-H is behaving like the biggest a**ehole in the universe (apart from yours)!
Can you get out of the house for half an hour (even with a child in a buggy) and go for a really brisk walk - preferably where no one can see you so that you can rant outloud!!!!
Big hugs

fairyfly · 06/05/2005 10:50

Thanks bugsy, im alright now, i dont know what came over me i freaked out a bit and then everyone started ringing and telling me how to live my life. I have been slightly overwhelmed by life these last few days. I panic about money and my future and time and time again think my x will be supportive, i am probably my own worst enemy.
I have tidied my house and it may not be the best place in the world but it is my home. I also have got it back into my head that i have the most wonderful children, they are so loving and constantly want to look after me. My son noticed i wasn't myself and drew a picture in his bedroom. He told me it was my sad face but he had covered it in hearts to make it happy again.
I really do stay postive and optimistic most of the time, i just couldn't keep it up for a few days. I have remebered i can achieve though and it will take time. I will be at uni next year, eventually we will be out of this mess and in the mean time i dont want to spend it not appreciating what i have. So thanks all for listening to me drone on.

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Marina · 06/05/2005 10:56

So glad you are feeling brighter today FF.
We all think you are a determined, brave, and really FUNNY person. I nearly wet myself laughing at some of your ridiculousness on here earlier this week.
No wonder they want to cover you with hearts - they know what a loving, loyal mummy they have.
PLEASE get that magazine and share it with us. I missed Mr Wank McWanky's letter for some reason.

fairyfly · 06/05/2005 10:58

I have told McTit that i would like a copy for the childrens keepsake boxes as they will be proud of him. It was really hard not to laugh. Thanks Marina,
oh i love compliments.

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Marina · 06/05/2005 11:04

Oh, NICE one. The vain arse will rush it round to you (and all of us). Do tell him you will also be arranging publication on an online cultural discussion forum for ladies...

fairyfly · 06/05/2005 11:08

Christ he would start polishing his penis getting ready for the aphrodisiac effect his poetry has

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Caligula · 06/05/2005 11:10

LOL. Oh God, I'm sitting her in anticipation of the pome.

sykes · 06/05/2005 11:16

FF, am just going out so can't chat but will give you a ring later? Hope you're okay and try to ignore McTwat. Can you come down in May/do you want me to come and see you?

fairyfly · 06/05/2005 11:18

I'll speak to you later and we can discuss it, hope you are well cherub

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bubbles2904 · 07/05/2005 05:09

i've just read your post, what a arsehole your ex sounds. unfortunaetly he sounds just like most fathers that no longer live with the children.i think it's a case of out of sight, out of mind! my ex gave his job up when we parted so he wouldn't have to provide for her, he says he's skint and can't afford to pay but it's funny that he finds the money to go to the pub 3 times a week, i must be doing something wrong! keep your chin up and wash your hands of the wanker! it was my daughters bday last friday and he got her some felts and 3 excercise books, i couldn't believe it! his own daughter too, i asked him if he wanted to go halves on a party, he told me where to go, then he complained because i didn't invite him, bloody MEN! not all bad out there though i'm pleasd to add

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