Indirect contact - experiences please

[MeAndMyGirl]

Am fighting my ex as don't want him to have access to dd. Has been going on for a year now and feel am getting somewhere as at times felt like giving up. Independent reporter has suggested indirect access via letters with dd and I wondered if anyone had had experience of this and whether it had been of benefit - or just another means of bullying from a horrible expartner??

I don't want any contact but as a compromise so I am not in contempt of court am interested in others experiences...

you have to look from poitn of view of child - how old is dd?

ex was on no contact since aug 08, would drop things for dcs on doorstep randomly - agreed in court would be set time for this 8 pm on a wednesday but even that seems too difficult (he lives aroudn teh corner) and he has turned up late or not at all!

i have a tesco pay as you go (£20) mobile which is used only for him to text on. so is kept separate. dcs can text him or call. they largely choose not to speak on phone -espec since they now seeing him fortnightly for supervised contact sessions.

he still tries to bully and control via text msg and voice messages....

i see it as having to let the dcs decide what they want with him.

one thing is my relationship with him (zilch) the other is their right to know their father - tho i still want that supervised and controlled in case he bullies them... i ahve to try and remain neutral and let them learn directly that he will let them down.

eg dd asks "why didnt he come last nite to leave things (asked on a thurs) - my answer "i dont know" however much i want to speculate and say "becoz he is a twat!"

at present we have indirect. its supposed to be fortnightly phone call,monthly pocket money and intermittent postcards. its been a bloody nightmare!!!
he won't even meet up with cafcass to put his side across.

the dc are older,so relied on their money to some extent. the calls were a let down,he'd often forget and they would be sat waiting when really they had other stuff to do.

have told him to buy a mobile to send to them for their phonecalls now as he has left abusive messages also!