Really need your help am very confused...

[unhappymummy]

I havent been on MN for a while, mainly because i became a single parent 2 years ago & life became so busy i didnt have the time to keep up. Lately i have been feeling really depressed & have been thinking about seeking some fellow parents help here, so here i am finally ready to get it all out...

I am struggling... will try & make this not too long winded! Split from my ex h nearly 2 years ago. Spent the first year totally just me and dc's who at the time were 2 and 4. H didnt have anywhere to live & i had no life outside of being a mum. H met his gf 18 months ago, kids now spend 2 nights a week with them & we all have as good a relationship as i could hope for. I have started going out more in that time & getting back to being me not just mummy. Before xmas i met a guy who i have been seeing since, we get on amazingly but he has always been completely honest & says he doesnt "do" kids & although i thought it was just a bit of fun i am now getting attached to him.
Thing is even without him I am enjoying myself so much when kids not around i am starting to feel like they are stopping me doing things. I feel so terribly guilty for this & i know i need to change. I feel like a terrible mother who shouts & doesnt spend enough time doing things with them.
Please help

do you feel like this everyday or just occassionally??

as for bf? where do you hope this will go? if he doesn't "do" kids.

your never going to have a serious relationship as he is only interested in you. and you come as a package.

he's not the man for you if he cant accept you as a package.

i would also say you would be better to tell you bf how you feel and tell him either you break up now before you get more attached or he has to consider whether he could possibly accept you as a package. no point dragging it out for another 6 months when your even more attached.

not really his fault. he's been perfectly honest with you from the start re:kids. you have really put yourself in this position.

yeah, don't get down about the bf, time to move along. Tell him it's over, cos as ridingjoker said, you come as a package.

If you are going out and having fun, then let that be enough for now? You might meet someone else then?

I'd bet that if he doesn't 'do' children you are prob holding back in talking about them too?

hi, yes what you are saying about bf makes sense i know deep down that it's probably never going to last long term but i guess i just hope that as time goes on things will change. We do talk about kids more so now than at the beginning & he is also less openly anti kids now. But i know that i am playing a dangerous game with my own feelings by letting myself get attached to him more. It feels like either way i am going to get hurt at this stage. Guess I find it hard to believe that there is someone out there who would be willing to take us on as "a package" but know that really should be the way it is. think my felings of being a bad mother stem from feeling like i am starting to live a double life, one with them 95% of the time and one with him 5% of the time but when i'm not with him i miss him like mad.