what happens next?

[bodgejob]

My ex and I are negotiating contact arrangements through our solicitors at the moment. My ex partner, who was emotionally abusive,is basically saying that if his proposals are not agreeable then he is applying to the courts for a contact order.These proposals involve me delivering all three of our dc aged 5years and twins aged 2 to a neutral pick up point on a sat 10 until 5 and the 5 year old he wants to take swimming 4 until 7 on a wed evening collection and return from pick up point.

Sounds good in theory however 1. he lives out of town and has no transport .2.he lives in student digs so no safe place to take them to 3. It takes 2 pairs of hand to look after twins in parks etc yet he insists he can manage even though I always have a friend, mum to help me 4. I have no transport and have to ferry children to and from pick up point to facilitate contact and 5. He was recently abusive towards eldest child so feel uneasy about contact on any level at the mo.

We haven't seen ex since I banned him from family home when incident with eldest took place. Basically I was facilitating contact alot before then and ex was always
unreliable and unpredictable .

What happens next ? Is it really his way or court? All I suggested was to alternate saturdays with twins and no week day contact as it interferes with dc routines.

What happens wih a court order ? I am very worried can anyone please advise?

how uneasy do you feel? do you have grounds?

would you prefer supervised contact / specification that he has additional help?

you can propose this thu solicitors and if he agrees fine. but it would not be legally biunding however good first step and evidence you trying to be reasonable....

if not and/or you want it offical then (let him) go thru court.

if there are concerns about safety of children this has to come first.

if you dont have transport how you supposed to get dcs to any place?

Thanks for responding cestlavielife.

Ex pushed little one by his head twice so as he could use bathroom first. He then pushed door back and it hit ds on his forehead. Ds was very upset. Ex claims it was boisterous behaviour and an accident. I saw it as ex being his typical bullying self. He made no apology until I pointed out ds was upset ,crying in his room.

I have been very upset over incident as it brought back memories of what I have been through and I don't want it repeating with dc.

However apparently this is not grounds to stop contact and I would need evidence and /or witnesses to his behaviour.

Have offered contact every sat with eldest and 1 twin alternating the next week. This is what I feel is appropriate given our circumstances. Do want it sorted one way or another.

What happens if we go down the court route?
Do they take into account all the circumstances? Sorry if I sound naive

Don't know the answers to your particular situation sorry, but recently had to post a question on contact myself. I found the Childrens Legal Centre very helpful. They'll give you free legal advice over the phone. Google them to find the number (sorry, don't have it to hand). Good luck and don't let this bully intimidate you.

Thankyou OptimistS. That is very helpful of you