what do you all do to get out of the house?

[raggedtrouseredphilanthropist]

I am feeling a bit down today - havent had a face to face adult conversation for 2 days. And I just feel so stuck. I can go to toddler groups / the park / activities in the daytime, but in the evening and at weekends it can be so lonely. Its the bank holiday, and all my friends are off doing things with their partners, and I just feel like I infringe on their lives or that my tagging along with them will begin to pee them off soon.

I mean, how do you get out to meet people if you dont have a reliable babysitter? How do you NOT feel like a leech and a burden asking friends/family to babysit? And how do you NOT feel like a burden when you rely so heavily on your friends / family for company?
I just seem to be facing that circle of wanting to go out, but not having a regular babysitter to enable me to join a group, or not having anyone to go out with on those irregular times I do have a babysitter. And I know that if I DONT get out and meet new people and join a group I am interested in, I wont make any new friends and so the situation wont improve.

Just on a downer today I guess...

Sorry you're down. Husband works shifts and though I know this isn;t the same, I often feel lonely at evening or weekends. Sucks to think everyone is having family fun.... I have found a few mum chums who are single/partnre working and we sometimes plan to meets at weekends/bank holidays on purpose.

We have a single friedn who often joins us and we love having her company! She's never a burden! Bet you're not either!

How old is your kid?

I was thinking today that work is my absolute saviour and how potty I'd go without it. Is there any way you could work for a few hours a week? Weekends are really hard though and especially long ones. Have you thought about joining Gingerbread or something? I know there are a lot of single parent groups out there. I'm not really one to advise though - I have no compunction about tagging along with my couple friends

Thanks mumble - that is very kind of you!

Spicemonster - I already work, part-time. It is also my saviour, without it I would be a total mess!
Funnily enough someone else suggested gingerbread to me - do they do meets and things?

God, I just feel so needy at the moment!

I guess its just frustration that (when I get the opportunity) I can either go on a course / join a group OR go out with friends. I am also sure my friends dont really mind me bugging them to visit / meet up / go out, but sometimes I just feel I rely on them so much they must get annoyed with it - kind of why I want to expand my social circle really, so I dont wear them all out!!

I spend just so much time alone with a toddler, sometimes I get a bit paranoid and sorry for myself.

I go through phases so I know what you mean. I work pretty much full time though so it's a blessed relief to be at home at the weekend most of the time. Having said that, there are times when I don't speak to another adult for the entire weekend which can feel a bit odd. I'm still deliberating about whether to go on holiday this year or whether a week on my own with a toddler in the arseend of nowhere will be the end of me!

Gingerbread do have groups - all the info is here. Might be worth a go?

I also doubt your friends think of you as a burden - they like you, they're your friends I think it's easy to project when you're feeling a bit low. In fact, I suspect if they felt they had to take care of you, they would have made sure that you weren't alone over the bank holiday!

I was a single parent until DS was 3 and what really kept me ticking over was going to as many toddler groups as we could and getting friendly with the other parents - it opened up a social life at the weekend for DS and for me where I would have people I could visit and DS would be entertained too.

I'd second the suggestion of contacting Gingerbread and also maybe speak to your health visitor? If yours is any good, she might have contacts who can point you in the direction of particularly friendly groups.

spice - yeah, that is one way of looking at it. If someone comes across as needy, you dont leave them to it do you lol. So I guess I am better at hiding my neediness than I think....

I know what you mean about a holiday - exactly the same thought crossed my mind...

ragged TP
Im not a lone P but today we amused them by shopping (naming/ asking about food in a grocery! not a fecking supermarket) cooking from scratch and going to the park (free!)
I love your mumsnet name how did you come by it?

copybook - yeah, that is what I am trying to do really, but I have just moved, so I am trying to find my way about all the groups! In the meantime I am relying on people I already know...

I suppose I shouldnt be so down, cos I have loads of opportunities here. Just being alone when I am a really sociable person is really hard, especially after so many years of constant company (even is he was a total arse). And my head isnt in the right place to do dating, so in the meantime I need to get my social needs met through friends.... Just getting the chance to see them and make new ones is the problem..

I have been very lucky to have a very flexible job and a great MIL I can work what shifts suit and they are a world away from family life, sometimes I have whole weekends a way and kids stay over at MIL. It was my lifeline after I had DS, I was still with exH but I was terribly lonely and suffering PND, getting out and challenging myself to actually talk to people and collegues did me the world of good.

I still don't really have any other close freinds but lots of pals through work, sometimes meet up for nights out and stuff, but very occasionally.

I also help at the Brownies and that is really filling my time up right now, doing programme planning and stuff, so that keeps me busy, I am signing up as a leader so there will be training course, first aid and other meetings to go to for that. Plus getting to know my other leaders.

so is anyone on this thread and in need of people to meet up with near Cambridge?

CS - bugger! I just moved from there!!

lol, ah well.