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Original poster

So i left him im doing ok, but he text me to tell me he was on a date and im now so upset

24 replies

shoptilidrop · 01/05/2009 12:42

basically the title says it all. I left him, not really though any choice though. Rock and a hard place situation really. Im doing ok and just had 2 of the best days ive had in about 6 months. I actually felt happy. Properly happy, not pretending to be happy iykwim.
Im at work on my own today, Luckily. He text he at 10am to tell me that he was on a date last night and that he wasnt trying to rub my face in it, but didnt want to lie. Firsty, why start telling the truth now, not like he hasnt constantly lied for the last 10 years.
Secondly, im really really hurt. Ive been crying for about 2 hours now and i just cant stop. I dont know why really. I didnt want to get back with him. I know im better off and will be happier. But it just hurts so so much. We havent even been spilt up for more than a few months. All my focus has been on our daughter and trying to make her settled and sheild her from as much pain as i can. It appears all his focus has been on getting laid. ( why change the habbit of a lifetime).
FUCKER
C**T

I was doing ok and now i feel like total shit again. Fucker.

Sorry for the rant and the swear words, if anyone has any words of wisdom id appreciate it.

OP posts:
VinegarTitsTheSwine · 01/05/2009 12:48

Hey Shop, my god please dont get upset about this, count yourself lucky that he is moving on, however, my guess is that he is playing mind games with you, why does he feel the need to tell you he has been on a date? not rubbing your face in it my arse! he is looking for some sort of reaction from you, i would just tell him that its none of your business what he does in his personal life, unless it involves your dd, therefore he doesnt need to share this info with you

I bet he hasnt even been on a date, how have things been with him since you split? not heard/seen you in a while

Overmydeadbody · 01/05/2009 12:50

#I agree with vinegar but I wouldn't even say anything to him. Act as if you never even got the text. He wants a reaction form you.

He's a bastard.

aseriouslyblondemoment · 01/05/2009 12:52

thats really low of him
just ignore it do not acknowledge that text or you're putting him in the position of power again
he prob.knows that you're doing really well without him so this is his nasty pathetic attempt to destabilise you
keep strong

VinegarTitsTheSwine · 01/05/2009 12:53

Think about it, he has done the dirty on you how many times? probably been shagging anything that moves in the last couple of months, and now he feels the need to share 'his date' with you? he wants a reaction/to hurt you/you to want him, he is a fucker omdb is right, ignore him

Original poster
shoptilidrop · 01/05/2009 12:54

i did already reply that i was not interested adn that i did not care what he did in his personal life, only about what sort of dad he was.
Things have been shit, but i thought were getting better. At one point i almost changed my phone line as he was harrassing me. Hes been unreliable with contact/maintance and has been foul towards me.

I know he is trying to get a rise of me. It just hurts/makes me angry and i hate it. Esp since i was just staring to feel good. It feels like all my effort with trying to sort out a new life is for nothing.

And he told me he took his date to pizza hut, what a joke! If i was taken to pizza hut as a first date... LOL.

OP posts:
Original poster
shoptilidrop · 01/05/2009 12:56

I know, not just shagging anything in the last few months, make that shagging anything in the 10 years we were together.
he said he wanted to tell the truth. I just dont get how he can say that when all his has constantly do is lie.
I hate that this has upset me so much.

OP posts:
Overmydeadbody · 01/05/2009 13:01

lol poor girl, pizza hut!! You are definately better off without!!

Just because you are upset and hurting doesn't undoo all the positive steps you've made and progress you've made towards a happier life. Sometimes you need to cry and get upset before you can work through somethgin and put it behind you. Trust me, in a few days you won't be upset about this insident any more.

If he tries keeping you up to date with his grubby sex life in future, just ignore it. Yawn. How dull. You have far more important and interedting things to be getting on with in your new happier life!

x

VinegarTitsTheSwine · 01/05/2009 13:01

Its got nothing to do with him wanting to tell the truth and everything to do with him trying to gain back control, its just another one of his tricks

Lol at him going to pizza hut on a date, is he 16? cheap shag for him i guess

Overmydeadbody · 01/05/2009 13:02

I agree with vinegartits.

He's not trying to tell you the truth, or stop lieing, he just wants a rise out of you. Sad wanker.

VinegarTitsTheSwine · 01/05/2009 13:05

And its no wonder you are upset, he sounds exhausting! people like this zap all your energy

You need to put him out of your mind and think about something positive, do something nice that will cheer you up and boost your energy levels back up

VinegarTitsTheSwine · 01/05/2009 13:08

get yourself a dvd tonight, somthing empowering like 'first wifes club' i always find that watching a good move helps in these situations

Overmydeadbody · 01/05/2009 13:10

yes, a good movie plus chocolate/wine and maybe even your favourite meal.

Original poster
shoptilidrop · 01/05/2009 13:11

thanks i appreciate all you have said.
Fucking pizza hut! hes 30 fgs!
i cant image many girls being impressed with being taken to pizza hut.
Sad loser, and yes, he still thinks he is 21, which is one of the reasons i left.
he has not grown up at all.

I know its just a mind game, i mean why would you tell your ex wife that.. it just is not something you would do is it.

It does feel like it makes a total mockery out of all i have done though, and thats what hurts more.
I want chocolate and wine and my bed...

OP posts:
VinegarTitsTheSwine · 01/05/2009 13:19

No its not something you would tell your ex, especially not 10 am the next day, like he couldnt wait to tell you, which just goes to show what a sad sad man he is

It doesnt make a mockery of everything you have done, it makes him look foolish and desperate, he is trying to hurt you again, i would be tempted to say, i'm really pleased for you, so glad you are moving on. Best thing to do is ignore him, dont reply to any messages that dont involve him contacting you about your dd

aseriouslyblondemoment · 01/05/2009 13:20

it doesn't make a mockery out of all you've done at all
none of us are laughing at you just really pleased that you've been getting on with carving out a life for yourself and your dd
he is a sad pathetic little prick who's intent on mind games and control
and yes it must hurt you
but if you respond in any way whatsoever he will just up the anti
ignore him and go treat yourself tonight

lostdad · 01/05/2009 13:24

Maybe he took her out to Pizza Hut to see if she considers how much money he spends on her as the most important thing in a relationship.

If she dumps him on these grounds, he's well out of it, I'd say.

Placing a value on someone based on how much they spend is the same as deriding them for only wanting a shag.

Pot to kettle...are you receiving me?

Original poster
shoptilidrop · 01/05/2009 13:35

i doubt it, that would take too many brain cells.
Pizza hut is about as classy as he gets!
And he wont be looking for a relationship
just a shag

dont run in a feel sorry for him, dont make out that its all about money.

dont call me a kettle

OP posts:
Overmydeadbody · 01/05/2009 13:44

lostdad it's not really the cost of Pizza Hut, it's the lack of imagination and interest and that it shows how little actual thought and effort has gone into the date, that's all.

Women like men who make an effort, whether it costs a few pounds or fifty pounds is irrelevant really. I'd rather someone bought a box of strawberries to share with me by a river than just took me to pizza hut.

aseriouslyblondemoment · 01/05/2009 13:46

shop i'd disregard that remark too
think the point was more than missed there

Original poster
shoptilidrop · 01/05/2009 15:28

yes totally.
Pizza hut is not why im upset.

Nothing againist pizza hut either.. i like pizza hut. I would not like to be taken to pizza hut for a date early on in a relatonship though...

i still think he is an arse, but im feeling better beacuse im thinking in about 6 weeks or so maybe ill send him a text to say that ive just had a really good ride on a rather large cock, and i just wanted him to know about it.
Of course, i wont actually do that, but its making me feel better thinking it.

OP posts:
aseriouslyblondemoment · 01/05/2009 18:53

that's more like it

poshsinglemum · 01/05/2009 18:54

he WAS rubbing your face in it-bastard. you are better off without mr slimebag. hugs.

Original poster
shoptilidrop · 01/05/2009 19:09

i know he totally was.
He must have been doing it for a reaction, why else would you?
Ill not mention it to him tomorrow, or at all.
It has totally floored me tbh and i do feel like shit. It will probably take a good few weeks to feel ok again. My self esteme has taken a complete battering from all of this, and just when it was starting to recover it gets shot down again... well thats how it feels anyway.

OP posts:
aseriouslyblondemoment · 01/05/2009 20:27

shop what you up to now?
have you got that vino poured yet?

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