managing your moods when alone with kids.

[wickerman]

I am in a foul mood at the moment. It's caused by a few real things and a few things that I am adding onto those real things - you know, the old self-hatred, thinking one is a loser, etc etc.

but I am very aware that it is leaking into my relationship with my dds and creating a vicious circle. They are acting up, I am shouting, they areacting up more, I am shouting more, etc etc.

Normally on days like this I just grit my teeth and wait for the day to be over, but I'm sure that if I actively managed my mood
I could limit the damage and create a better model for them.

Tips?

Be kind to yourself - thats the only way I can manage when i having a bad day and the dc's are playing up because I am moaing at them and exhausted.

Do something different that reduces the amount of stuff that needs done - go out for tea (mcDonald's sometimes my sanity - as has play area) or take a picnic of things that will get eaten.

Lower your expectations until you feel a bit better - when the dc's go to bed I only do things that HAVE to be done for the next day like lunches/clothes and leave any cleaning etc and do something for me - whatever you like to do- long bath/book/DVD/wine and do not think about anyones elses needs for a while - and lots of sleep.

I usullay find I can catch up with houseword etc when I feel better in myself.

I smoke - it's an excuse to step outside, breathe deeply, watch the goldfinches or other garden birds and rehumanise myself

Yes I smoke too but it only adds to my feeling shit about myself - it's not wildly good modelling is it - and I tend not to do it around the kids - they don't know I do iyswim, so it's no good if we are together for a whole weekend without anyone else.

I suppose I'm talking about a quick way of changing my brain chemistry.

I know for instance that if I make us all bounce on the trampoline, it normally stops me feeling so mardy, but not normally profoundly enough or for long enough to make a real difference, and today the very idea of doing that is making me feel a bit sick.
(I'm not ill, it's just the relentless positivity that that image projects. )

oh jesus wickerman
it could have been writing your posts
join the secret smokers club lol

Make plans and/or go out.

If we have a 'quiet day at home', we all can get ratty and irritable. Moods are much better once everyone has had a change of scenery and some fresh air. We do best when we have at least one outside 'activity' a day on the weekends - even if it is only a trip to the shops and a quick detour by the park.

secret smoker here too.

my sister works nearby. and pops in for 10 mins on her way home just long enough for me to have a ciggie

i've recently started work out dvd too. find it really helps to do it every morning. for just 20 mins in pj's. sets you up for the day iykwim.

we also do a lot of craft type stuff and baking here when were stuck in all day. keeps me amused as much as dc.

Hello hello all. Ok so I do all that. I exercise regularly, we are always out, but it's more that IN THE MOMENT I can't always stop reacting to their moods and adding mine in, and my kids are old, they have stuff they need to do, like homework, music and schooly stuff, so we can't always do crafts and go to the park. I think I need a mantra or a meditation or something. Because this is longhaul now - much less support, much less money, much less everything, and I don't have enough work, and feel totally shit about myself, although determined to change things for the better.

I totally heart hippies another mum so only judging positively.

thanks. Will try and make myself into oak tree......