Ok, so please tell me how hard being a single parent is going to be, I'm so scared!

[mummytowillow]

My lying, cheating husband has finally decided he doesn't want us anymore (dd 20 months), he has left three times and three times I've taken him back!

He has decided 'he really dislikes me' and 'the only thing I mean to him is I gave birth to his daughter' how cruel and nasty is that! He did say he was going to leave, then the next day changed his mind and has decided we can live together in the same house until we rent it out! Its so difficult and painful as I was willing to forgive the fact he had an 'emotional affair' but he can't forgive me for how I was when I had PND.

So now I'm going to be a single mum, I'm going to resign from a job I've done very well for 17 years and for which I paid well for to, I'm going to live in a back bedroom of my mum and dads (I am grateful though) which means I will have to move 300 miles away from all my friends? as I can't afford to live down south on my own.

This means my daughter will only see her Daddy periodically, he has agreed to pay me £280 which I think is reasonable based on his salary, but I'm so scared of how hard its going to be financially and emotionally!

So don't be bashful, tell it like it is! I can take it!

Why are you moving out???

Before you do ANYTHING get good advice, not for you but for your dd.

Giving up your job may disadvantage you or not when it comes to claiming benefits, can you afford to live in the marital home... or is the mortagage too much, could you cahnge it to a interest only...

Dsis was left by her arse of an H, no job hundreds of miles from home but the support she now recieves means than she has a reasonable lifestyle.... she stays in the martial home until her youngest is out of full time ed....is this definitely a no go ????

Emotionally she finds it difficult BUT she is now 1 year on in a far better place than she was when she was with him and worrying

good luck it's never easy but sometimes it really can work out for the best

Yes do not do anything until you have sought proper legal advice.

Oh, sorry I didn't make it clear really, I haven't got to move out really, its my choice, I want to move to be near my parents as they are the only support I have down here. I can't afford the mortgage on my own, plus childcare etc, and I don't want to live here! I just wish it all didn't have to happen really as he has just given up on his family and not event tried! We went for one counselling session, it was just the assessment and he said he didn't want to do anymore! We are the second family he has left now, he has two dc from previous marriage?

I have seen a solicitor and he gave some good advice, we are going to rent the house out as at the moment we have penalties in our mortgage and not that much equity.

I'm just scared of being on my own really and so worried about my daughter and how she will be when she goes to school etc.

It is not nearly as hard as you think it will be and certainly not as hard as living under the pressure of an uncommitted partner

I think you will find it okay as you will at least have control over what is going on in your life

I like being in control of my own household.

I have half as much money coming in but manage OK and wonder where all the money used to go .

I am ME!!!!!! and I love it.

you daughter will be fine ! she is little she will adapt...there are lots of other kids living with separated dads/mums, she wont be the only one. your job is to provide her with stablity and security - and you can do that much better without a "i am not sure" coming and going dad!

not sure why you giving up your job tho - yes childcare expensive now but will get easier and cheaper once she goes to nursery/school.

please try adn seea councellot to talk through your feelings/concerns and to separate the anxieties over your daughter.