Please can other lone parents offer me some advice on friend helping out?

[curlygal]

I am the only single parent out of my group of friends. The girls are going away for the weekend and leaving the kids with their husbands.

Initially I said I couldn;t go as my usual babysitter (my Dad who has a better social life than me!) is away.

THe girls suggested that I just bring DS along but I said no as I felt it wasn;t fair as everyone else was looking forward to a child free girly weekend. I said I was fine not to go.

Then one of the (lovely) husbands offered to take DS. All the dads are meeting up at an activy centre tomorrow and DS is going to stay over with my friends two kids with her husband. He has stayed there before and had a graet time so he will be fine.

I am really grateful for this help but feel a bit crap, I've got wee presents for the two children he was staying with (a book and a dvd of things they like) and a plant for my friend and will take wine etc to weekend. Have aslo made DS a packed lunch to take with him tomorrow so they don;t have to pay for lunch for him, was thinking of giving them £10 for icecream too (would this be odd - giving cash?)

Also I will offer to babysit for them to reciprocate next time my Dad doesn;t have a hot date.

Does this seem ok to you? What would you do if you were in this situatiion?

I think that is lovely of your friend and her husband - good to have such friends.

What you are suggesting sounds fine (although maybe check with them what they are doing for lunch, if they were going to eat there and he has a packed lunch it might be a bit odd for them/him),

Cash for entry fee/ice-cream seems fine, and if they are going to eat I would give money for the lunch as well.

Have a great time.

Thanks CS, will check with them, problem is that if I ask they will probably say "oh no no we insist on paying" then I will feel crap!

DS is used to having a pack lunch as I insist we take a packed lunch everywhere we go no over priced soggy sandwiches for us oh no

You shouldn't feel crap, they wouldn't have offered if it was a problem. Your friends sound lovely BTW. As ChasingSquirrels said, I would not send sandwiches but just give the cash to cover expenses. And try not to feel so crap, it's not your fault that your father is unavailable this particular weekend. Have fun.

They sound like really lovely friends. I too would send some cash for expenses and give him a bottle of whiskey/lager (after you've got back though )

I agree that you shouldn't feel bad - they are helping you out because they want you to be there. You have lovely friends and I'm not surprised because you are obviously a very thoughtful person.

I wouldn't take sandwiches because they might go and have burger and chips (most likely - men are in charge remember! ) and then that will be a bit crap for your DS. Give him a tenner towards costs and I'm sure that will be much appreciated

Thanks everyone, will try to slip him a tenner. It is going to be a group outing of at least three dads, plus seven kids - should be interesting!

You are v. fortunate to have such lovely friends and I'm sure they know you will 'pay them back' in kind so don't worry and enjoy yourself go curlygal