Birth cert naming....please could I have opinions?

[tessofthedurbervilles]

Am in the final stages of my pg, exp has been an arse and little contact throughout. As the realisation dawns that baby will be born he is now pushing to be at birth and showing interest in the child at 7 months pg he was still saying he didnt want.
Hormones all over the shop and nobody I know is able to make any rational suggestions so please let me know what you would do?
If I name him on birth cert he is given his rights and boy will be make sure he uses them to thwart any chances of us getting on without him. He is controlling hence his bad reaction to me having baby.
It would be easier to leave him off, however, my baby will always have the father unknown on its birth cert and I just don't know what is best.

I would a) Give the child your surname, b) name the father on the birth certificate. If you didn't and he took you to court it would be almost guranteed that he got parental responsibility anyway, so why bother with the aggro of it all, and it also shows that you aren't deliberately trying to cut him out of the DC's life. It also shows that you are acknowledging your DC's parental line and not being obstructive etc,

PS, IME the father having PR through the birth certificate is token so do not worry. Go on any other advice lines you want, it doesn't mean anything, it certainly doesn't mean you "can't do anything without their approval", that's rubbish. It's not worth the argument. Let him have it.

The birth certificate is a record of the child's parents. Why would anyone object to a statement of fact on it? Pretending something didn't happen doesn't mean it didn't and seems like it is the same as sticking your head in the sand.

Surely the only time there would be a blank in the box for the father's name would be he wasn't known?

Put Dad on birth certificate. Dont understand what the problem is here.

Yup, he sounds like an arse but that is still no right to exclude him from the birth certificate.

If you guys are not married he wil have to apply for PR anyway.

The birth cert is a statement of fact, nowt else.

Sorry - it's not true any more that unmarried fathers have to apply for parental responsibility. It's automatic now if he's named on the birth certificate

The last 3 entries are correct, if you put him on the birth certificate now he gets it automatically. If you don't and he takes you to court for PR, unless he's a paedophile or something equally as nasty (and nasty to you doesn't usually wash I don't think) its almost certain that he'll be given it. That doesn't mean it can't be taken away again. Like I said, don't fret over it, show your child you acknowledge it's roots and leave it at that. It is like has been said, a statement of fact after all. I'm sure you weren't ever not going to tell the child who its father is? It's nothing to fret about and good for the child.

The fact that he cant commit to coming to an ante-natal class and the tries to blame you says it all really

He would have to turn up to register the birth with you anyway (I think all those that constantly say "put him on" forget this).. and to be honest I dont reckon he will be assed to bother

An update....baby born and he has shown some interest but its not been consistent and he seems to be breezing in and out when suits. He is too busy he tells me.
On the birth cert front, he is currently thinking about whether he wants to be a part of my dc's life, and will get back to me as he 'doesn't want to mess us about'
I agree its a statement of fact so am happy for him to go on it, just not happy that he hasn't seen my dc for two weeks - which when the dc is only 4 weeks is quite a big deal...

The inclusion on a birth certificate does not mean the father is a responsible one or not. It is a statement of fact. Plain and simple.

Of course, you could just explain to your dc in years to come that he/she doesn't have a father - because that is what that blank space means.

Its not as simple as a statement of fact though, if the father is not willing to be there when you register the birth he can't go on the birth certificate. Surely you want to register the birth asap to claim child benefit. How long does he need to think about whether he wants to be involved. Have you got a date for registering? Tell him he has this long to decide.

I would have happily put the father on the birth certificate but he wasn't there so the decision was made for me

I asssumed that you discussed things and were "as one" during pre-conception (unless pregnancy was an accident)...

Daddy may well be an arse. You could slag him off 24/7 but he's still that kiddy's dad & therefore should STILL be on the birth certificate. He may not want anything to do with YOU but may still want something to do with his own flesh and blood.

It's hard to take that he doesnt want to be with you- that would hurt any of us OR you two may not be ready to be together (and in turn not be ready to be parent a child together) BUT child is here (or will be) and you have to do what's right for YOUR CHILD and not for you.