change of name deed or stat declaration...do it online?

[Unlikelyamazonian]

Hi, single parent here, H naffed off nearly a year ago. I want to change myself back into my maiden name - passport, driving license, bank account, etc....But I can't divorce him as there is no contact.

I am told I can do this by either change of name deed or stat declaration. And that I can do it online more cheaply than going to a solicitor. Can anyone recommend the best onloine site for doing this - and which should it be, a stat declaration or a change of name deed?

Bastard

I would so love to change my name back too. What stops me is that i would then have a different surname to the kids.

Sorry cant help with your question but i am sure one of the hundreds of lone parents on here will be able to help you, good luck.

Feelingold, my son is young enough to not understand or know his own surname so I want to change mine now - and his afterwards. I have discovered it's easier while he nis still so young, to change my own and use the documentation to change his...the solicitor has quoted me a one hundred pound ncharge plus VAT this afternoon to change mine but I think I can probably do it for less if I only knew how.
You obviously understand how it feels to carry the name of a shit, whos own family have disowned their nephew and grandson. No need to keep his 'father's' name when neither he nor any of his supposedly posh and privately educated family act like a bunch of shitty bastards I say.

They have no manners or (real) breeding!

If your not divorced yet then it is quite simple and cheap. As a married women you are allowed to use both names there is nothing in law that says what name you ahve to use, its just that most of us change to our DH's name when we marry.

First of all change your passport. On the new forms there is a section now for reverting to maiden name (when I did mine in 2002, I just filled in a form and wrote a covering letter that I was reverting to maiden name and enclosed my marriage certificate). The same with Driving license, bank accounts etc. take your marriage certificate in as this has both names on and tell them your reverting to maiden name.

There is no reason to tell anyone WHY. Its not their business, they dont need to know why. I say this as I did have a few get nosey/ shirty and wanted to know the reason. Just say "I'm reverting to my maiden name". The passport is a good first move as with that and your merriage certificate you shouldnt'd have any problem with banks etc (SKY w***s on the other hand lost my business)

I did see my solicitor beforehand who did say she could so a deed poll for me, but when she explained that legally you can be known by any name so long as its not for fraudulant perposes and that you just needed 'evidence'. Once you start its actually quite easy

Sorry for bad spelling... just to add... I was frequently asked if I was divorced as all assumed so. Once you are divorced they wanted to see 'proof' ie decree absolute so thats why its actually easier to change name while still married

oldraver thankyou very much. Of course I hadn't thought of that - my maiden name is on my marriage certificate. I will give all you say a try. x

If your ex has PR it is illegal to change a child's name (or cause them to be known by a different name) unless you have written permission from him.

This means it is breaking the law to even use another name for a child in any way. Any schools, doctors' etc. that permit this are aiding law-breaking.

If you don't have his written permission you can apply to the court, but you will have to prove that is in the child's best interests to have this link with his paternal family severed.

I suggest getting a few copies of your marriage certificate. You can do this online if you dont live near near to where it was registered. Just contact your council where you got married

There is a strong presumption for a child to retain their name. I can understand the logic of wanting your dc having the same name - but what if you remarried and took a new dh's name?

Personally speaking, if I found out my ex was doing this, I would apply to the court immediately (and what with the history behind it) very probably win.

I'd definitely mention it at the next contact hearing to cite it as another piece of evidence of my ex's intention to cut my ds' father out of his life.

Oh dear, lostdad, you sound a very concerned father which is wonderful and you would be quite right probably, in your case, to fight for your child's legal right to carry your name.

Sadly, in my case, my son's father ran away to thailand last year, taking all our savings, draining our overdraft limit to the tune of ten grand and leaving me with no job, no income, no cash, utterly emotionally poleaxed, and with a small baby to care for.

His family have turned their backs on me and their nephew/grandson from the day it happened.

Everything actually is in my h's favour - the CSA cannot touch him, the bank is pursuing me for the massive overdraft he has left us with, and I am behaving apparently 'illegally' in trying to dissociate myself from this crook.

I am now cleaning for a living (which I enjoy actually as it is clean money unlike his dirty money in his foreign land where he has lied lied and lied some more to get work and sex), and he is enjoying the high life.

I have no address, no number for him, he ignored his son's first birthday and christmas, has not seen him crawl, or start to talk, learn to eat, sit up and love toy cars and chocolate cake.

I am lumbered with my married name - to a man who nearly killed me. I do not want to carry the name. I now call myself by my maiden name and have re-registered my son under my maiden name in as many places as possible. I cannot change his birth certificate, but believe me, I do not want my son to bear this awful family's surname and do not see why he should.

Do you?

Lostdad, there are some terrible, terrible, shit men in the world. I married one of them. But my son is going to be a great little person who respects and honours commitment, relationships, love, himself, the value of hard work and saving for a rainy day, the importance of trust, respect, good friendships, sharing and myriad things his father obviously only pretended to understand.

Also, the surname is bloody ridiculous.

Do not tar all us women with the same brush covered in crap as you have been smeared with. Honestly, I hope that if you met my h in a pub and we were an item, you would take him outside and give him a piece of your mind..or some such.

Unlikelyamazonian - I've had more help from women than men since my son was taken, so I certainly don't tar them with the same brush.

And every useless father like the one you describe is the one thrown at me when people hear my story, so I know how you feel!

In all seriousness though - what your ex has done would not help him should he try to take you to court for this sort of thing, so I hope my posts give you some reassurance.