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PLEASE!!!! i need help about my daughters bio father in court

7 replies

sydney6 · 12/04/2009 20:08

hello, my daughter is 6 years old and her bio father left when she was 1 he hasnt seen her in 5 years and i have just recieved a solicitors letter saying he wants parental responsibility and visitation rights,she has no clue who he is and has been bought up by another man and me who she calls daddy,my ex is a very nasty man he has a drink problem and is very violent and controlling.when we first split he saw her a couple of times but i found out he was leaving her with people she didnt know to go to the pub. Does anyone know whether the court will allow him to see her as im so scared they are going to,

OP posts:
oldraver · 12/04/2009 21:00

Yes he will be given access unless it can be proved he is a danger to her. From other posts I've seen this would have to be actual physical harm to her and as this hasnt happened yet there is no reason for a court to deny access

As your daughter has no relationship with her father she needs to be introduced to him slowly. You would be best seeing a solictor who can advise you the best way to go about this

ilovemydogandMrObama · 12/04/2009 21:12

The way the courts will view this, is what's in the best interests of the child -- your DD. In most instances, contact between a father and a child is a good thing. In some instances, it's a bad thing. But it would need to be gradual, and could take place in a contact centre under supervision.

Do you know why suddenly he wants parental responsibility? Unlike custody, parental responsibility can be shared by several people.

Do you know whether he is publically funded (legal aid). If so, then there is the possibility that you will meet with a family mediator in an attempt to reach a settlement without going to court.

You should get a solicitor specializing in family law.

Best of luck...

sydney6 · 12/04/2009 21:22

hi thanks for your comments im waiting for my solicitor to phone me as its easter i havent heard anything yet,yes he is getting legal aid as he doesnt work they want mediation but i refuse it as i dont want him to see her i dont know why he wants parental responsibility all of a sudden all of this is such a shock as he hasnt wanted to know for 5 years.

OP posts:
CarGirl · 12/04/2009 21:25

I think you are better off going to mediation as the courts do not look favourably on people who turn it down. In mediation it would be you going not your dd.

solidgoldshaggingbunnies · 12/04/2009 21:27

Remember that just because he wants something doesn't means he will inevitably get it. Do you have evidence of his past bad behaviour (ie if he was violent did you ever report it to the police or need hospital treatment?) You will not be expected just to hand over your DD, you can insist that contact is supervised to begin with. And, unless he is appallingly abusive and neglectful towards DD, then it is good for her to build some kind of relationship with her father, or have the opportunity to do so.

angiebaby78 · 12/04/2009 21:53

hi i am just coming to the end of mediation with my ex . it seems that unless you can prove he will be a harm to your dd then he will get access. I am still in the early stages of learning this as i cant bear it at the mo. It will be hard but as my children are older ( THEY ARE 13 AND 10) it does seem a little easier, and they will have each other for support. It is unfortunate that as mothers we can know exactly what the absent father is like, unless we can prove it we are expected to adhere to any court order that is made. Please listen to the advice from your solicitor and try and take small steps at a time. It is a case of learning to live with an ex in your life again. It is hard but try and focus what will be best long term , sometimes this can be the child learning themselves that the father is a waste of space or in an ideal world building a good relationship with him. If you want any more advice or a shoulder then PM me. I may be able to help XXX

sydney6 · 13/04/2009 20:48

thankyou all for your help it has really helped me xx

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