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Please can someone tell me what to do... feel like committing murder.

3 replies

colnelcustard · 11/04/2009 21:33

I am the mother of a lovely six year old boy that I had from a marriage to a rather nasty individual. We are now divorced and I live quite happily with my partner and our two daughters. My son has a very happy life with us and my partner is very good with my son and I feel very lucky to have found such a great father figure for him.

But.. his bloody father keeps coming in and out of his life. THere is no consistency with his contact. He doesn't pay maintenace he hasn't for over ten months.

Since I left his dad five years ago, he has cancelled contact on numerous occasions.

Tonight I have had exactly the same. He phones me up twenty mins. before he is due to pick him up and says oh i can't make it but i can pick him up tomorrow. my answer is well if you can't pick him up tonight don't bother.

I told my son he was poorly and couldn't come.

I am sick of my son being fucked around my someone who clearly cannot be bothered with him.

I have told my ex-husband that if he is not interested in being a father to my son then he should just leave us alone. He has told me that the reason he is like he is because I left him. He is punishing our son for something he has done.

Do you think I should let him collect ds tomorrow when ds is already feeling let down.

I don't say bad things about his dad, I always make excuses for him but I don't see why I should continue having to do this for ssomeone who quite clearly does not give a shit.

rant over. can someoen give me some advice please.

OP posts:
FlyMeToDunoon · 11/04/2009 21:50

bump

hayley2u · 11/04/2009 22:56

thas horrible for him, iv got the same kind of problem with my 1 yr old daghter her dads not interested in her.
i would make him speak to hi .let him do his own dirt work.why should you have to lie for his mistakes .
your son is happy and has you and your husband so hes secure. i v been trying to make ex p see my dd but have now realised cant make him want her.
so tell him to tell you son if he cant go etc so its on his conscience not yours
its really tough i now. iv already been in tears about her when she s older and understands and she doesnt understand yet, but he s obviously got a dad now, ex p is just a part time dad until your son learns the truthhimself xx

Monty27withabunnyrabbit · 11/04/2009 22:56

Hi Catchy, sorry you and your family are going through this. Is your ds upset?

If ds is upset (I know its a bit late now) then I'd tell the exh he can collect, as long as it doesn't encroach on any arrangements you have as a family tomorrow, but if you do agree to the exh collecting, I wouldn't divulge this to ds until the exh is at the door therefore avoiding any further disappointment.

If ds isn't upset tell the father to take a hike.

I sympathise.

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