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glad ex let dd down

3 replies

Debra1981 · 06/04/2009 11:12

DD (2.9) has been seeing her dad unsupervised for about a year now, alternating between his mum (with whom she has always had a good relationship with) bringing him to mine to pick her up, and me dropping DD off at his. Several months ago, I took her to his as usual and he wasn't there, and DD cried, wanting to see him. He phoned me soon after to explain there'd been a mix-up and he managed to see her later that day. This weekend, as is becoming increasingly common on these trips, she cried on the way (she's ok when granma picks her up) and when we got to his front door, she clung to me and said 'no mum, want back in car'. We were both so relieved when no-one answered!! However I did feel sad when there was not even a phone call from him after asking to see her. But I do hope this keeps up! I have tried asking her why she doesn't want to see daddy, but her vocab and attention span is still very limited so am still in the dark. It is worrying, but there's little point in trying to discuss it directly with him because he is just plain unreasonable and a compulsive liar. I wish I could be a fly on the wall when she is at his, so I can see what is going wrong.

OP posts:
lostdad · 06/04/2009 11:40

Maybe you should talk to him about it.

edam · 06/04/2009 11:42

could you get her to draw a picture about going to Daddy's, or do some role play with her teddies or dolls? Might give you a clue. But suspect lostdad's right and you have to talk to him about it - and possibly his mum?

Debra1981 · 20/04/2009 23:09

the week after I posted, they were due to pick up dd in the afternoon, but he called me about 15 mins before pick-up time saying he couldn't get a lift, so could I take her to his? We live about 2.5 miles apart in same town with frequent bus services between us, which I suggested (as I was a bit cross at his apparent laziness) but he didn't seem keen, saying oh well she gets upset when she sees me anyway, lets just leave it this week. I tried asking him about anything at his that might be upsetting her as it was worrying me, but he seemed clueless, saying he never smacks her and she's fine after a few minutes. He said he thought it might be because she didn't see him often enough (it has always been every week except when he couldn't make it- about one in six). So she didn't see him that weekend. Last weekend I drove her to his, and ironically she was quite relaxed on the way, but once again, he was nowhere to be seen. What a hypocrite! I don't think this is doing dd any good either!

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