School Critising me for not doing enough to supervise prep! Worn down by it all

[elastamum]

My DS1 has been doing badly in spelling tests lately. He is dyslexic but also I have gone back to work since my H left us and dont get in until 7-8pm at night so my au apir supervises prep. I got quite a snotty note from his english teacher about is prep slipping and him not reading to an adult every night. FGS am I supposed to have them up working untl 9pm?? If I dont work we wont eat and they certainly wont be staying at their current school. Feel that I am being critised for not being one of the stay at home prep schoolset. I am trying to compose a reply but havent yrt been able to come up with anything printable

"Dear Mr XX"

Thank you for your letter, and for bringing this to my attention.

I am sure you will understand if I tell you that my current circumstances do not allow for me to be at home until after ds has completed his home prep. I do not believe that it is in ds's interests to be kept up late to spend more time on his home prep than he already does. In addition, as you are aware, my ds is dyslexic.

I would welcome any suggestions that you may have for improving the support that ds has during school-hours.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours sincerely

Ms elastamum"

Don't let them make you feel crap. You are obviously working very hard for your family, in rubbish circumstances. If you ds needs more support then he should, presumably, be able to have this at school? It has got to be better for him to be able to have some down time and a decent night's sleep...

thanks FB, I know i'm not a crap parent but they certainly make me feel like one. His form teacher knows the score and has been really supportive but evidently the english dept dont. I wish I was home earlier but in the current curcumstances keeping the roof over our heads and the kids in school has been my priority. I am lucky to have got a job at all at the moment and i never let on that I was a single parent until after they had hired me as i suspect they might have had second thoughts if they had known!

I think the school is trying to resolve the problem between you and them without involving more organisations.

The school wants to make sure that all the additional measures are in place (and not working) before they look at why things are still not working (if the child doesn't keep progressing at the same or improved rate).

If you ignore the school for to long, and they want to make a big deal about your attitude to the schools attempt to resolve issues, there is an educational supervision order which a Local authority can apply for. To be fair, you don't sound like the type of person who would need court involvement, so not a worry.

What is obvious (based on what's in this post) is that you want a few ideas about different options. Earning the income is important to you because it allows you to give your children the things they want, and more if you can. You have obviously put things in place which allow you to get the income you can.

Keeping a child up till 9pm is not practical, the child will be tired and not able to concentrate, so the exercise counter productive.

Can you get a Granny or Granddad involved, perhaps a few times a week, who can go through the reading with your child?

Could you perhaps look for a child minder who has teaching qualifications, who could pick the child up from school and have the child for 2 hours 3 times a week. The child minder can focus on the reading and other home work.

Dyslexic children need additional stimulation to give them the most chance possible now to get as much skill as they can get to prepare them for their life as an adult. All the time you loose now is lost forever. Children learn the most and the quickest as a child.

Is there an opportunity for you to spend a few hours on the weekend reading with your child? Children like to please their parents and do things that make the parent happy. You should be the person that manages the child's care and who the child looks to to to feel loved and accepted. You should be the child's guide in life and the child's role model. The au apir is unlikely to feature in the child's life on a long term basis.