Need advice about contact centres and child contact....

[newlysinglemummy]

My ex p was violent so I have not spoke to him from December, his solicitors have contacted me asking for him to see dd. There is a court case coming up because of the violence with ex p, and my solicitor said she thinks I should wait untill after the court case before letting him see dd.

She is 20months and I feel the longer she does not see her dad the worse it will be when she does as she is already very clingly. So my solicitior said she would suggest exp sees her in a contact centre for a few hours a fortnight.

What I want to know is what happens after this? I really do not want to see him again for as long as possible. I would be happy for him to have her over night after a while but I do not want to see him myseklf and it cannot be done through my family as he has messed them around in the past before by collecting dd over an hour late most days.

My solicitor said the contact centre might only be open saturdays or something is this correct? If so I'm not sure how sleep overs will be possible.

Yes,contact centres are usually only open on Saturdays. But there are some private ones open other times, our nearest charges £80 an hour. Third party handovers are what you need for moving on from contact centre, I also have this problem. With no friends or family willing to help you're stuck!

oh god £80 per hour, well if he is happy to pay that then fine as I am not.

So are they not open any other days?

The thing is he has not really got any family, and because he wanted to get back into my life again last time he was late everytime collecting dd and dropping her off. So it cannot be done through my family again.

Everyone seems to be advising me not to let him have contact with dd, but I feel he will get contact eventually so I would rather it was sooner then later as do not want dd to be uncomfortable with him.

Do you know how much they charge for the hand over?

Contact centres do the handover whilst using them. Ours is only open 2 Saturdays a month from 10 til 4. The private one which costs £80 an hour has more flexible times and days. Varies where you live.

I had dv. Met my cafcass officer today, and it was ok. Surprised to find she was negative about him havingcontact,as he's still violent with his new partner.

Gosh that wont work for too long then as I know he will keep pushing for more contact.

I have read on here about cafcass officer, what is that? And how do you get one?

Oh no that is not a good sign that he is still violent.

Well I suppose if violent with one partner where does it end!?
The court will appoint a cafcass officer once it all goes to.court for the contact order. It's a lengthy process

yes it sounds lengthly, and something that has to be done, but Iknow it will bve stressful.

How long has it been since yr DD has spent time with yr X on her own?

When you say he was violent, was this after yr DD was born? Or in front of her? Or even when she is in the same house?

DD has not seen exp for 3months.

He was violent infrount of her and smashed my door down when she was asleep in the house.