Dating: what do you/would you do?

[fryalot]

dp and I possibly going into the dating industry; I have some questions that I hope you won't mind answering, please

what would you be more likely to do:

1. speed dating
   
   
2. singles night
   
   
3. dating agency
   
   
4. introduction agency
   
   
5. online dating/chat
   
   
6. anything else?
   
   Any thoughts/comments gratefully received
   
   ta muchly

[aseriouslyblondemoment]

Hello again Squonk!
I have done the online dating/chat thing
Wouldn't try the others tbh
Hoping the others will chip in but imagine that they would answer in the same way
I think it's just easier for us lone parents as we can do it from the comfort of our own homes without having to arrange sitters for our dcs
It also means that we can take things very much at our own pace and suss out a potential date first

[fryalot]

hmm... that was what I was expecting.

so... like a forum like this one, except dedicated to singles? Or do you sign up and get given email addresses of chaps that fit a given criteria?

(and thanks for replying btw)

[aseriouslyblondemoment]

erm not sure really
a bit more like a prop.site
i don't have a criteria as such
well i do but can't really explain it iyswim

[fryalot]

okey doke.

I think Ikwym

ok, shall ponder then come back here.

[fryalot]

does anyone else have any ideas?

[Holly23]

Hi Squonk, I agree with asbm, would do online dating/chat because can manage this from home and feel more comfortable. I don't put my picture online and would ask a guy for his email address to send it to him. I would need to exchange a few messages with this person to try and suss out if they are:

a) Sane!
b) Genuinely single
c) Not a player
d) Trustworthy
e) Had a nice personality

...N.B this list is not exhaustive!

Would not do speed dating or use introduction agencies, singles nights etc, not really my thing.

[Flightattendant27]

Hiya

Wellllll,

I've tried online dating sites and hate them. It feels horribly like a meat market, though I know it's not - it just feels like that iyswim, clicking on a thing and suddenly the page fills with 25 random blokes gurning at you.

i think if I was going to try anything other than the old tried and tested chat-up-the-plumber technique,

it would be an introduction agency type thing - a bit like Dateline, d'you remeber those wonderful questionnaires in the radio times?

A local one would be even better.

Tbh i am really coming round to the idea of an arranged marriage, ie where your family or friends set you up by common agreement that you and this bloke are made for each other - and you give it a try.

I don't trust strangers and I don't trust my own judgment, so tis the only way. Nearer you can get to a personal matchmaking service the better!

And yes I will volunteer as a guinea pig

[Flightattendant27]

Yay! Squonk is going to find me a husband!!

[fryalot]

phono - yes pleeeeeeeease!

holly - thank you for your comments, I am bearing everything in mind.

Flight - you can be first on the books (although you may have to travel to Yorkshire, that's ok, isn't it? )

[Flightattendant27]

I will go to the ends of the earth for a Squonk-selected life partner, yes

well maybe not quite that far

Have you got a bloke on your books yet? Does he have a beard? I prefer not a beard.

Gosh how very exclusive, two members. Heavens.

[fryalot]

we-ell, we haven't actually joined in yet so technically have nobody on our books.

But I'll make sure any prospective Mr. Flights shave properly.

Wondering if any of the Saturday morning crew have any ideas or comments that may help me....

[Flightattendant28]

Beump for you

[kdk]

For me, it would be nice to have something where the members are 'vetted' for lack of a better word ie so you don't get married chancers/guys looking for a notch on the bedpost etc.

I'm a member of a couple of sites and they seem to be full of absolute tw**ts to be honest.

I suppose something a bit like mysinglefriend only free and with a good chatroom/forum facility. Old fashioned introduction agencies probably good as well .... but good god, the price!

[aseriouslyblondemoment]

kdk sadly these types will still slip thru the net they always do
If you can vet Squonk then god knows how you'll go about it

[fryalot]

don't know how you could realistically vet them when you're providing a free service.

vetting works for the introduction agency stage because, as you pointed out - ye gods the price!

will ponder all this stuff you're telling me, if you think of anything else, holler.

How about singles' nights/functions/dating evenings - stuff like that, what should we be thinking about?

[JaneSeymour]

I would rather pay tbh. That way you know the bloke has paid and cares enough to bother - or else is filthy rich and can afford to chuck money around, in which case who cares if he's nice

[fryalot]

Jane - what would you be prepared to pay, and what sort of service would you expect in return?

[JaneSeymour]

Hmmmmmm.

I don't know, haven't really worked it out. The guardian one you have to pay but it's online and you do get the dingbats - plus not vetted.

I think for a personal, local service where they sussed out everyone they accepted - and rejected them if they were a loon - I'd prob be prepared to pay an initial sum of say £30-40, then an amount per good match, ie someone I was sent details of and was prepared to meet. Thing is I am dead fussy so I doubt they would make a lot out of me - if they found anyone at all within 50 miles who would do, that is!

Visions of them just giving up.

I'd want the usual stuff, personality, interests, whether in their opinion we'd hit it off.
I think if you are going to be a perfect dating service, you would have to have a real talent for setting people up, and judging from a few short meetings, exactly who they'll like.

There's potential there for great success if you have the knack. Have you had success with family, friends etc?

[fryalot]

hmm... yes, have had some success with friends and family in the past.

It's something we would go into with people who are already in that line of work, so not totally setting something up cold iykwim.

How many people would you expect to have to date before you met someone special? (obviously in an ideal world, the first one would be perfect, but realistically, what do you think would be acceptable?)

[kdk]

That's a really good question ... I suppose the actual figure would depend on a few things like whether you were being charged for every introduction and whether they were near-misses nor not-even-close if that makes sense!

For instance, in real life, some people meet 'the one' at the age of 13 or so, some date thousands and never meet someone they even want to go out with long-term let alone spend their lives with.

Have to say, I'm a bit cynical and don't actually believe in 'the one' or a 'soulmate' but someone special I could go for - I just think being a single parent complicates matters because you can't just take your own feelings/desires into account,but have to think (long term) about your kids - could be why I'm still on my own