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Original poster

I am SOOO pi**ed off!!

26 replies

Pinkchampagne · 05/03/2009 17:37

The court haven't passed my application for my decree nisi because of the living arrangements after we separated. We Separated June 06, but ex h refused to budge until the house sold & we completed, which eventually happened 11 long months later. We lived pretty separately, due to having a town house at the time (separate rooms etc), and I would have rented given the chance, but my solicitor advised I stay put. Because I didn't actually move into this house until May 07 (so only a couple of months off 2 years), they won't agree to the 2 year separation & I have to pay out another £300, give extra evidence & attend court.
I just want all this to be over now...I just want to cry right now!

OP posts:
Flightattendant27 · 05/03/2009 17:44

Oh no

That's shocking. Sorry this has happened.

Lulumama · 05/03/2009 17:44

is this something your solicitor should have realised /anticipated? sorry to hear this, i hope things are sorted soon for you and you can move on

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 05/03/2009 17:46

It all seems to have been going on for months now as it is. I thought it was only going to be a matter of months now, but no, there is more standing in the way! Grrr!

OP posts:
Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 05/03/2009 17:49

He said they may question it, but as it was a 2 year natural breakdown of marriage, he thought it would probably be ok...clearly not! I thought things were finally moving along nicely (had troubles at first because of my wedding certificate), so I am mighty pissed off!

OP posts:
FeelingOld · 05/03/2009 18:01

I know how you feel pinkchampagne, its seems to take forever. I started divorce proceedings against my ex in october and first lot of papers have only just gone to the court.

I too had to live in the same house as my ex for a few months but I am able to divorce him on grounds of adultery so time doesnt matter in my case.

Feel so angry on your behalf and hope its all resolves as soon as possible.

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 05/03/2009 18:12

It's awful isn't it? Just seems one delay after another.
I could have divorced him for unreasonable behaviour but thought I would wait the two years & keep it nice & amicable...never imagined I would have so much hassle years later.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 05/03/2009 19:52

Am I getting myself into a tizz about nothing? Some friends are making out it isn't a big deal, but it isn't just a case of waiting a couple of months, it has now become complicated, and whereas I thought I was nearly there, now I see no end in sight.

OP posts:
aseriouslyblondemoment · 05/03/2009 21:05

PC so sorry to read all this when it was looking so hopeful for you
I would be hugely angry too
Surely you have been ill advised by your solicitor?
What options do you have now?

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 05/03/2009 22:24

I don't know what is happening now tbh. I am going to phone the solicitor tomorrow lunchtime. I will have been separated 3 years in June, and I am only two months short of being in this house 2 years. I am so fed up.

OP posts:
N1 · 05/03/2009 23:02

How long have you and ex been living at the same address?

Does the ex oppose the divorce?

I see you made an application, did the ex cross petition the divorce?

aseriouslyblondemoment · 05/03/2009 23:21

PC why did you choose the separation route?
could you not have opted for unreasonable behaviour like i did?

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 06/03/2009 08:30

I could have done that, SB, but thought this way would keep things more amicable. Never dreamed it would be so much hassle.

We aren't living at the same address, N1. When we first separated, ex h refused to budge from the property until our house sold. My solicitor said there was nothing I could do & advised against me renting, so we lived as separately as possible with separate rooms & separate lives. House completed 11 months later on 5th May 07, so I will have been living at this address 2 years in May.

Ex h doesn't oppose the divorce - he is leaving it all to me as he wouldn't be pushing for divorce himself, but he doesn't oppose as such & hasn't even bothered getting himself a solicitor.

OP posts:
FeelingOld · 06/03/2009 08:34

I can understand why you are fed up PC, you just want it all over with and close that door and move on. Well if you do have to wait 2 months it will be bad but at least there is an end in sight, just keep that in mind.

aseriouslyblondemoment · 06/03/2009 10:01

Oh PC,
this all sounds such a nitemare as if divorce itself isn't hard enough
can you now reapply for the nisi at the next available date on the grounds of separation?
Or will you have to push for unreasonable behaviour now?
I can't understand why exh hasn't got a solicitor himself tbh
But would probably create more aggro
Am rooting for you here
Keep us updated xx

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 06/03/2009 12:48

If it was just a case of waiting 2 months, I wouldn't mind, but he is now talking about me searching out all paper work from my house sale & paying out another £300 because he anticipates that he will have to attend court with me to take me through the evidence. It has gone from a simple procedure that I was nearing the end of, to something more complicated & I can't see the end in sight.
Going to give solicitors a ring now & see if I can talk to him.

OP posts:
citronella · 06/03/2009 13:02

Oh no PC! Even if you waited another 2 months would you have to resubmit paperwork and would that cost you more with the solicitor? I think you should pull your solicitor up, given that he advised you to stay put.
This divorce business is a nightmare isn't it? I don't believe any divorce can truly be amicable or it probably wouldn't be happening in the first place.

Hope you get a quick resolution.

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 06/03/2009 13:06

Just spoken to him. He said he is mystified as to why it has happened & why the affidavit wasn't enough. says he has only known this happen once before so just my bloody luck!
The court want more evidence that we put the house up for sale when we did & they will need to see me in person. I asked about the 2 month thing & he said we would have to start back at the beginning so we're stuck with it now, but to try not to let it get me down too much!

OP posts:
Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 06/03/2009 13:08

He suspects it was dealt with by a junior judge. I guess it isn't his fault but it is very very annoying to say the least!
Best I search out all the paperwork from the house move now! Grr!

OP posts:
Holly23 · 06/03/2009 15:25

Hi PC, just read through this thread. I'm so sorry this has happened, a divorce is stressful process but this delay, its tough it really is. The process really does take ages, I thought my divorce would be over by now and thought the decree nisi would have occurred a lot sooner then it has, the court had the papers by the end of Jan but for some strange reason they have set the nisi date as the 22 April. I was upset initially but not a lot I can do about it. Xh wanted to do 2 yr seperation but knew that would be difficult to prove and anyway I had more the enough to do him for unreasonable behaviour! he probably didn't like it but signed the papers anyway as he didn't want the cost of hiring his own solicitor. I think your solicitor gave you the wrong advice and would push him/her to help you towards the divorce costs in some way. Good luck and keep us posted.

aseriouslyblondemoment · 06/03/2009 15:56

PC it really makes you wonder
FGS they have proof if proof were needed from the land registry re:house sale
I hope that your solicitor sorts this and quickly they have badly let you down
fingers crossed from now onwards
I do know from our previous postings that you will get thru this tho
We are both strong minded women

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 06/03/2009 16:36

True, SB, and I said to him that he would have proof that I was going through a separation prior to moving into this house too as I was seeing my solicitor on a regular basis & he has all the paperwork from our mediation etc, all of which was sorted way before I actually moved into my house.
I said short of us having filmed our living arrangements for those 11 months, I don't know what evidence they're after that we were actually separated during that time!!

OP posts:
N1 · 06/03/2009 20:48

Bills at different addresses would be a good idea as proof. Sworn affidavit is usually enough.

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 07/03/2009 10:13

my solicitor said that he was confused as to why the affidavit wasn't enough. I have loads of paperwork from the house move, but can't find the one from when we first put the house on the market so have asked ex h to look & see if he has it.

OP posts:
mummyfantastico · 07/03/2009 10:46

What a nightmare. Divorce does seem to take forever, I remember my solicitor giving me the impression it would be really quick, but it took over a year.
Would the estate agent have a copy of the paperwork?

Holly23 · 08/03/2009 10:28

Hi PC, how are you? Can see some of the posters have offered some useful advice, you feeling better? This may be a delay but ultimately the divorce will happen and you have moved forward loads, even if it doesn't like it atm.