At what age did you first leave dc with your ex alone?

[loooouise]

Just wondering...I'm still pregnant, so thinking a little ahead of myself here.
I get on very well with xp, but he will be living abroad until the child is 1, so will only be seeing them once a month. When he comes back to London, he lives round the corner, so we can do things together as a (kind of) family. But at what point in the child's life will he expect dc to stay the night/weekend with him?
Curious about your own experiences....
Thanks!

How long is a piece of string?

DD1 first spent the night with her dad when she was 6 months, just after we split up. She had a very good bond with him though (having lived with him up until then); I suppose if your child hasn't seen much of him you'd want to give them a good chance to bond gradually first so you'd know they'd feel secure, and that the father would know how to comfort them.

Hey, thanks for this Sazisi.

I was left alone with my dh from the day he was born right up until the point she left without notice and then refused to do so for six months.

I'm still trying to work out how her deciding she didn't love me suddenly meant I wasn't to be trusted with him.

ds even!

Lostdad that's awful - do you ever see your ds now?

OP - I guess it partly depends on whether you're bf or not? And also whether or not the child would be able to be comforted by the dp who will be unfamiliar after this time. That isn't necessarily a barrier though - if they can generate a bond this should follow

badbadday - yes - although we're both currently 2 years, 7 court appearances and 250 miles from where we started...I won't give up on him. He has a right to a dad!

loooouise - niceguy2 is right. There are 101 factors to take into consideration. If you can talk with your xp about it, do. If it's strained, go to professional mediation - they can identify what you both agree on and come up with something that you are both able to accept and most importantly is in your child's best interests. And having two loving parents who work together for his/her best interests is the best thing a child can have.

If you've both got flexible attitudes and both honestly want the best for your child, there will be no problems.