Rant thread - ex has not turned up AGAIN!

[candledebra]

I'm supposed to be taking our youngest child out today and exh was supposed to be here at midday.
I'm sat here sobbing in frustration that he emailed???!! me half an hour ago to say he was having a few drinks to celebrate a job offer.
He does this a lot, he improved a little after our new baby arrived a couple of weeks ago, but the novelty has now worn off and he is slowly returning to his old self.

He has ruined our day again. I sick and tired of it. Yet he is sat socialising and enjoying himself in a bar somewhere. It is so unfair.
What on earth can be done in such a situation?

Said he would have phoned but he can't get through????!!! he's too much of a coward to speak to me he means.

can only say how sorry i am to read this
cant offer a solution as such but only to offer my sympathy
there seem to be alot of men who view children as 'novelties'
have you seen a solicitor yet?
xx

candledebra, unfortunately I don't have an answer either just sympathy. I've been there and it's not funny. Take care

No I haven't seen a solicitor yet, but I don't think it would make a difference here, he still will be unreliable and do as he pleases.

He emailed (why he emails I don't know) later to offer to do today instead, but hasn't replied yet and it is past 11 am. I shall be trapped here the whole weekend. which is now ruined.

I don't know what's happened to his sense of responsibility and morals since he left. I'd like to escape from things too sometimes, but I appear to be the only onw who thinks of the children.
He knows I'm tired being up with a newborn baby - but just doesn't care. It feels so unfair.

get a set schedule. and tell him he sticks to it or he doesnt see the DCs until he is in a position to stick to it.

i would never advocate banning fathers from seeing their DCs but having seen the effect that my ex constantly letting my DS down has had, I think sometimes its kinder to the DCs.

be firm. let him know you mean business and tthat you arent being awkward, just trying to do the best thing by your DCs.

candledebra, I agree with mankymummy, get a schedule, tell him he sticks to it etc (even if the schedule means he only see's them once a month). Get it in writing. I too don't advocate banning fathers from seeing their children but the effect of waiting around not knowing if Dad will turn up or not is disasterous for dc.

As for your weekend being ruined perhaps that is what this is all about. Sadly I have experienced this and so have a few girlfriends. It's about control. It's about the x. It's not about the children. You are being the grown up and taking the responsibility, you have to be in control.

Sorry to sound harsh. I really feel for you. It can be hard enough being a new Mum but when Dad is being so unsupportive and unco operative it must be hell. {{{}}}

Also can I add that on your schedule put down 'to be picked up by ?? o'clock and then if he doesn't turn up then you have a plan B ready and then do what you need to do. It means you are not hanging around under his control, you've taken control back.
Or can you drop dc off at his at ?? o'clock instead?

agree with winnie about the control thing and agree with mamas about the times.

with my ex, its as detailed as...

10am pick up, 5pm drop off.