How do you stop yourself becoming bitter?

[MeAndMyGirl]

Somedays I feel so bitter and miserable and other days I try and stop myself feeling bitter - and think that my life is slowly going in the right direction. But once I get there I wonder what type of person I will be??? Does anyone else feel that in order to cope and survive that they you lose something good of yourself that you will never ever get back?

I agree with what you say, only thing is no one stays the same; you become a different person between the ages of 14 and 21, and then different again between the ages of 21 and 42 (for example) while you might loose a bit of your self, like you say. Do you not think that sometimes you become a better person for having life experience, more calmer, more forgiving of your own and other people's faults.

this is an interesting topic actually
as what life throws at us generally shapes us.
however we have the option to decide how we want to take things from there
i have quite a positive upbeat approach to life as i have found that feeling any bitterness is ultimately futile as is worrying about things whch i ultimately have no control over.
i am probably more understanding of human nature and definately of relationships as a divorced woman
although i'm far from perfect i do feel that generally i go about things in the right way
i do tho find that the older i become the less willing i am to put up as it were
my happiness and well being have to come first as this is very much the way forward for me as a lone parent if i want to do the best for my children

True naughtalessnickerless. I think I have a lot more empathy now than I did when I was just a carefree girlabouttown with no problems and lots of money for clothes!

Some times I do have days where I feel "this is quite hard" or "how did I end up here?" but I am propped up by the knowledge that I am strong. I know I will cope and have a better day the next day.

If you'd told me 20 yrs ago what I'd go through, and still be sane and cheerful I wouldn't have believed it.

I just try really hard, and focus on the good things around you.

(big deep breath, and let it go)

(or shmashing stuff up works too...lol)

I'm a strong believer in "what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger" and in becoming very strong I feel I've lost something, perhaps vulnerability, perhaps tolerance. I know that I will never fully trust anyone again and also feel I will never be able to commit to another relationship 100%. I will never put myself in a position where I can be treated badly....sadly the lasting legacy of a very bad marriage.

Brightwell, I don't think that's a bad thing. IF I ever go down that path again I'll be so cautious. I literally won't risk anything I've got at the time, job, home, time with children.

I think it's a big con, this big obsession society has with pairing everybody off. Maybe it makes some people happy, but it makes no difference to some, and makes others miserable. I want to be 100% the director of my own happiness from now on.

thanks for this. i do agree and do try and be positive and i am so glad it is me and dd and things are going in the right direction. maybe i have just 'grown up' but i agree with other posters that have lost a trust in people and their motives.

i suppose it is mourning a part of you that has gone forever - a more innocent part of you that because of circumstances can never be there again. but maybe something good will come of that??

i am determined not to end up bitter and thinking the worst of people and their motives - don't want my dd to have those values for a start.

I know where you're coming from. I'm pretty good at staying positive but the eternal optimism I used to have has made way for a far more cynical and wary person.