ex boyfriend offered to come and see baby. if i pay...

[rasgal]

hi ladies, im lookin for advice plz

my ex boyfriend has been refusing to acknowledge my baby (due in march) since forever. but now it seems like hes made a 360 turn. he has offered to be a support but only if f i pay for his transport to and from the hospital and to my home (he lives in west midlands, i live in london). his excuse is that he is unemployed n therefore broke.

i know it sounds like the obvious answer is no to this situation. but does anyone think its a worthy price to pay for my son to have his biological father in his life?? this is my first baby and i dont want not having a dad to affect him.

Right now he doesn't have a 'dad' he has a waster who has refused to acknowledge or support him.

I think it's very kind of you to consider this but I think you could be making a rod for your own back. Unless you're totally loaded and can afford it forever.

No, your baby has a biological father, but sadly a father and a Daddy are two different things.

You need to get your money for supporting you and your baby. If anyone should be paying money, he should be paying you maintaince.

Tell him you need all your money for essentials for the baby. If he wants to be involved he will find his own money for travel.

A true parent would walk over hot coals while being whipped to be with their child under any circumstances. I am outraged on your behalf that he has suggested this!! On no account should you do this. Your precious little boy wont be gaining a father he will be gaining a confusing burden.

No, don't bother with him if he's not bothered enough to pay for himself. It's just not worth it.

he's not making much effort is he?

can you afford to pay his transport costs?

as a one off but not continually. i am a 21 yr old who works part time so im not loaded.

its just hes saying all the things i want to hear now like he loves me and wants us to b a proper family... just needed some straight talking to snap me back to reality! i know it will probably never happen but just to see him holding his son would mean the world to me n he knows that. hes trying to oull on my weaknesses i guess

Don't do it.

It's hard now but it won't be long before you've stopped thinking about him and you're just glad not to have him in yours and your baby's lives.

So he is asking for it as a return trip i.e he will be going back and leaving you both this time?

Then NO.

If he is asking you to help him get to you so he can move down, get a job, be there for you both etc then maybe you could consider it. Although only then if he had work lined up.

Good luck with the baby