ExP back in contact with dd (20 months old) but he's bought an 'open return' ticket. for when he comes up next??!! Please give me your input!

[CatchaStar]

Exp been up to see dd once since he's been back in contact, I was happy to let him stay on the couch for 2 nights. Nice of me I thought seeings as he's not been around, ever. Dd is 20 months old, he saw her 2 weeks ago.

Anyways, things went well, dd didn't take to him but that's to be expected. It'll take her a while. Anyway, I said I'd take dd down to see him tomorrow (2 and a half hour train journey) so that his mum and sisters can meet her. Again, thought it was nice of me to do so.

But the numpty said he'd like to come back up with us on our return journey, so I said ok, thinking it'd be a night or two. Only he's bought an open return train ticket. Just how feckin long do you think he's expecting to stay? Am I being too nice?

This guy has never given me a single penny for dd, the csa are still chasing him. And as much as I hate to make this about money, I think it's kind of unfair for me to have to foot the bill for him to stay here for lord knows how long. Or am I being a bit unreasonable? I kind of feel as if I'm being used as a doormat because things at his home aren't going very well. Family and friends getting a bit sick of him I think.

Is he just sponging off me and using coming to dd to disguise the fact that this will end up being like a free friggin holiday for him?

Thoughts and suggestions welcome please!

Could you just ask him 'you know the place you're staying, does it have a park near it or a play area in it or something so you could do something fun together' leading onto a conversation about getting his relationship with dd established and just assuming that he won't be staying with you, and if he say he thought he would be ask how long for then you can decide well that's too long

He will be staying with me in my home when he comes up with us. I live 2 and a half hours away from him by train. I don't mind putting him up for a day or two, but the way he's going on he'd be happy to stay a feckin week. Financially I get by for myself and my dd. I can't afford to put him up, and don't think it's fair that I should have to for that long.

Surely if he wants to see dd, he should shoulder the cost, not me?

Dd has met him once in 19 months. She isn't comfortable being left with him yet, nor would I force her to have to go somewhere with him if she didn't want too.

Just be blunt with him, say a day or so is fine to enable DD to start a relationship with him but you can afford to keep him.. Tell him you will expect something toward living costs.