AIBU...to refuse to give ds any spending money for a holiday with his father?

[ShyBaby]

Given that I work and can't afford a holiday for us, haven't been able to for around five years. Before that my mum owned a caravan so we did get free accommodation and not once did ds's dad EVER give him any spending money.

He doesn't work and pays me bugger all, not a penny. The cheeky git is taking ds on holiday and wants ME to give him spending money. He is taking the piss no?

If he can afford a holiday he can bloody well pay for all of it.

I think he (your DS's father) should pay for the spending money.

We take my DSDs on holiday and they never come with any money , but when their mother takes them away or they go on school trips etc., their mother refuses to give them any money... annoys the hell out of me when we have to give the kids £50 for a holiday WE aren't going on.

Regardless of if you were on holiday every other week, HE has organised the holiday, HE is going on the holiday, HE is equally responsbile for the child. HE should fund the child for the holiday.

My xh did this too but at the moment of handing the Dcs over (they are 5 and 6) I gave them £5 each. They both used this to buy themselves a toy and me a present!!!! Bet that stick in his throat!!! (horrible preening/smug emoticon). Do wjhat feels right for you/your ds. give him a small token and rise above it all.

Depending on the age of the child I'd probably give them a phone card and stick snacks and a cheap new toy or book for the journey in a bag for them to take.

Then the child can see you're not being nasty about them going on holiday. If ex starts saying bad things they'll have a nice fresh memory of you being really reasonable about things. If the ex tries to make out they can't call you because then they wouldn't have enough money to do other fun things they'll still be able to choose to do the fun thing and phone you, and ex will be the one putting himself in the wrong by trying to make them choose.

Then I might give them a tiny amount of money like Leslaki does, but if it didn't feel right I wouldn't.

We take our step sons on holiday with us every year (just to Haven), and they save money in a moneybox at our house, doing little jobs, bits of change from me and DP, and sometimes birhday money if they get say a fiver in a birthday card they sometimes choose to put it intheir holiday fund.

Wouldn't expect their mum to fund their spending money!

I like anastaisia's idea of giving him some bits and bobs, I think I would do that. Defo don't hand any money over to your ex, cheeky git!

I gave my ds money to take with him. His dad was broke and paid for the holiday in total but was struggling with extras and rather than make it about me and him and who pays for what i gave my son a tenner to have fun with - i made him earn it in advance tho. Nothing major just following his reward chart and stuff. Be the better person and make sure your son has a good time on holiday. Thats all that is important ultimately. His dad being a git will show eventually.

To be fair, I do agree with Prettyfly1.

my DH has always sucked it up and given the kids money for holidays with their mum (actually, has often ended up giving their mum extra money cos she'll book the holiday and then moan that without an extra £300 etc., she can't afford to go etc etc)...

But, after 10 years, the kids really can see who is being reasonable and who is pulling strings.

My mum always used to give us pocket money every summer when we would go on holiday with our dad. I can remember it clearly now and we would always buy a spotter book, a gift for mum, some sort of plastic tat toy plus some sweets (oh how far £5 used to go).

Not sure how old your ds is, but if over 4 he'll remember that you gave it to him. So, whilst I would, I don't think you'd be unreasonable not to give him any.