Feeling alone and stuck, advice needed about housing please........

[cantpickyourfamily]

I had to leave my flat as exp came to my flat and smashed the door in and i was worried he would continue to do things like this (he has been violent in the past).

I was living in a private rented flat, which is lovely, but i made a homeless application and am now in a hostel in a horrible area and I could be living here for upto a year and a half before I get a tempory flat. Then could take 2-3 years in total to get a permant flat.

It is going to be so stressful and I feel like such a crap mother that I have to make my dd live like this. I should be ble to look after her and give her a nice home.

Anyway I am now thinking of moving out of london or to another part of london where waiting lists are much quicker. But the other councils say I would not be piroty as I do not have a family member in the other boroughs.

I feel so trapper and useless and do not know what to do. I could rent privatly again, but that means never having a home I could make my own. I could be given notice to leave at any time and I would never be able to pay the rent alone as it would be around £1000 + every month.

I am not working at the moment, but wondering if I did start working maybe I could do something like part rent part buy. But thinking that is probably really expensive too, and with so many people being made redundant not much chance of me getting a decent job.

Any advice welcome, sorry it is long and moany but just feel like crying my eyes out...

Bumping for you as I don't want this to go unanswered. Hopefully someone with some practical advice will come along. You are not a crap mother, you sounds lke you are doing your best and that is all any of us can do.

Sorry, i have no advice. hope someone else has some for you. do you have any friends/family outside london, where you may be able to relocate to?

First of all, you're not a crap mother. This isn't your fault, you're doing your best and as long as dd has you she'll be fine. It must be awful to feel trapped like this. Have you had proper indpendent advice about all the options open to you in your area? And have you made sure you name is on every list possible? I'm wondering if Shelter could give you some advice on this?

Shelter link

Thanks everyone, I was in touch with a company that gave legal advice re housing, but they close my case as I was going to go into a refudge and they said when I make a homeless application contact them again. I'm going to call tomorrow.

i#ve been told i need to have siblings or parents in another borough to transfer there or if not they do not have a duty to house me. but that was in london, will try out of london...

but then i would be moving somewhere i know no one...

perhaps moving somewhere else where you dont know anyone will be tough. but perhaps better for your dd as she'll be somewhere better??and you'll be a better mother as you wont have as much worry on your shoulders re accomodation and poor area.

i know that is what I am weighing up at the moment... But as I said I need to find out if I can go to other areas tha do not have a long waiting list.

Hopefully I will be able to get some good advice when I speak to my adviser lady tomorrow...

i've just gone thru housing in scotland.

theres huge waiting lists. so what they do know is you have to find private rental that allows dss. then housing arranges to pay rent and they even do a scheme whereby you can get deposit paid and you pay it back in tiny sums . for examople £10 a week.

i struck a deal with landlord whereby i paid the rental month in advance and gave him a deposit once my housing allowance comes thru. moved in last wkd. housing has just rubber stamped my allowance. waiting on chq coming.

and this is big shocker. i only pay £490 for a 3 bed house with front/back garden/drivway and garage!!my housing allowance limit was £540 a months. but because i'm under budget they give me £490 for rent, plus £17 extra in my pocket for bills.

they offer a similar scheme here, but the local rent is much higher, my private rented property is £1050 per month. if i wanted somewhere cheaper it would be in a high rise block in a nasty area. and i really want to be able to go back to work at some stage and pay all my bills and rent without relying on benifits but will never be able to do that with rent prices here...

maybe i'll move to scotland lol

It seems cruel that the options in London are so limited by the expense, and yet you're restricted from moving to another council area. I hope you get some good advice. Good luck.