I'm 21 and have a 2yr old DD.
I'll keep this brief...
XP and I broke up Jul 07 after a long, difficult relationship I left with my DD and moved back to my parents before finding my own home.
I never once stopped XP seeing DD and was very supportive, with his work, coping without us in his life full time etc.
Decided to give it another go (for his sake on hindsight, emotioanl blackmail was horrific)
Christmas 07 - we were dating each other, had quite a nice run up to Christmas, but found out I was PG (not planned) - after a difficult family torn time, my grandmother died and I lost the baby at only 6 weeks - decided I couldnt cope with no support from XP and ended it again.
XP saw DD 2/3 times perweek and had her over night also.
In May 08 XP and I were on good terms - he spent a lot of time at mine and we tried to remain firm friends but he met some one new and his interest in both I and DD diminished immediately.
Over a period of weeks XP became less interested in DD still and more abusive towards me. (Physically and mentally)
During this time XP did several things I did not agree with in regards to DD -
*took her to his parents (who have never got on with) and left her there - they are practical strangers to her at the time - over night in strange house and didnt inform me of her whereabouts - when I found out he'd dumped her there inorder to go out on the piss I colected her from there at 8am on the Sunday morning and A HUGE argument broke out.
*would take her to NP house and leave her with strange baby sitters (14 year old next door neightbour) so him and partner could go out and come back drunk
*he takes drugs (socially) and would do this with DD in the house
etc etc etc
he often negated to turn up to collect DD or adhere to prearranged times etc -
end of July - he didnt turn up to have her for the weekend when i called him he told me he'd been sent away on business - which was a lie,
on Aug 6th I went to his house at 3pm en route to collect DD from nursery. I wanted to collect her clothes and other things which he hadnt bothered returning for weeks (i was running out of her clothes at home)
Him and his partner attacked me infront of her children.
I was punched in the face by him, and kicked into the front garden where he proceeded to kick and punch me, both in the body and face.
I had fractured bones in my hand, torn clothes and swollen face and cuts / bruises / grazes when I left.
I went straight to police.
He was arrested -
he made counter allergations that I had attacked him (even though he only had 2 bruises on his shin where apparently I had kicked him)
I was arrested the following day (harrowing experience i will NEVER go through again)
following on from this - both of us were charged with a section 5 public dissorder offence - and bound over to keep the piece in relation to one another,
He hasn't seen DD since July.
He has made attempts only twice through my solictor - but Im terrified he will take me to court -
we sporadically bump into one another, supermarkets etc and seeing him makes me violently sick, i shake, and can not function.
DD has no concept of who he is and does not know him any more.
I have been put on anti depressents during the summer as I wasn't functioning with the constant anxious state that he would try to come and snatch her.
Please tell me how to move on from this - I cant stand him. He is not the person I want in my daughter's life -
what is likely to happen if this goes to court? Any one been through some thing similar? How do I prove domestic violence if it does go to court?