Do you think your appearance affects how other people see you as a single mum?

[OptimistS]

Didn't want to hijack my other thread with this, but the last couple of posts got me thinking about it.

I look rather like the media's stereotypical image of a benefit-dependant single mum. Although I have a great job working for truly wonderful people, I only have to look the part if I go for meetings or conferences (quite rare). As I work in a converted barn in the middle of nowhere, and I take my dog to work with me (she lies under my desk all day and we pop out at lunchtime for a walk), I tend to dress down. I am definitely a jeans/combats and sloppy jumper kinda girl. I also have long hair which is nearly always back in a ponytail (though I don't use a scrunchie ), and I wear very little makeup, so I guess if anyone sees me walking down the road pushing a pushchair I look like a typical mum on benefits.

That said, even looking like this, I most encounter encouraging responses off people. What's your experience?

PS Can you tell I'm a bit bored today? Have ill children who are being very easy to look after as they just want to sleep or lie quietly watching TV. Got friends coming for Sunday lunch later, but generally am having a very lazy Sunday morning!

I have no idea. I look no different now (other than older) than for the 5 years that I was a married mum, or the 17yrs that I was in that relationship.

There are very few occasions that people (who you don't know) would be able to tell that you are a single parent, and people that you do know tend to judge on more than appearances.

did laugh when i read this at first
and was tempted to say that i wear velour tracksuits,loads of bling a la vicky pollard!!
im very much a jeans,jeans or jeans type too
my kids think im trendy which is nice
i think that maybe i do look a little different to how i did when i was married
my hair gets shorter
my exh likes women to have long hair
so there's a bit of the two finger thing with that!!
if anything i think i look younger thou that's probably more of a state of mind thing
since being free!!

I think I look like (and dress) like a Mum now. Don't think there is anything about my appearance that screams 'single' Mum.

I went to the hairdresser on Friday in my normal attire - and dirty hair, as the stylist says it is much easier to colour dirty hair. I felt very scruffy next to the glossy career women in their tailored trousers, high heeled shoes and beautiful double-breasted belted wool coats. I still have that 'gear' in my wardrobe at home, but never wear it as life doesn't seem to call for it now. Odd though to think how others (who don't know me) must make assumptions/judgements based on my appearance.

asbm - had to smile at the now short hair - my ex wanted it lonmg it's now very short!!!! Def 2 fingers combined with me getting back to finding me!!!

yes I prob do look like a harassed single mum but don't care!!! I work with 5 yo so am usually covered in aoint/glue/papier mache/glitter so amy lok liek an earth mother type single mum (LOL) [GRIN]

Well I suppose I do look a bit like the stereotype.. dress down, jeans, trainers etc and long hair.. but it is apparent I'm over 40 so not sure what people would think. I dont know/mix with very many people where I live and not sure if any of the Mums at pre-school have a clue about me. I reckon my cover may have been blown, as on Christmas Eve saw someone I used to work with, waved at him and realised that he was with one of the Mums and put two and two together as to who the 'Duncan' was she was always talking about lol

Ive always worked at places that I can dress down at so I normally look like a scruff and so long as I and my clothes are clean I am not interested in dressing up and prefer to be comfy

Strangly today I did have some 'bad' vibes from some people today.. We were in a cafe at a Wildlife park and each time I said something to DS the girl on next table would turn and look then lean across table wisper something to her parents (presumably) and I would get a look off them, made me feel quite uncomfortable

don't think so, I dress smarter now i'm single (and more like the old me) than I did with XH.

I work in an office so have to wear shirts & trousers with boots, I do a little eye make up just to feel good, and at work, I am me.

at home I usually have smart jeans n a smart top to go out with and eye make up again. the gym is slummy mummy! lol.

sometimes I do go out a scruff but tbh I don't care if people assume i'm a single mum or anything like that.

althou I must look haggard - my friend/I were in krispe kremes on sat (ok she's pg but anyhow) and a third lady asked us if we knew were the local soft play was - I mean the kids weren't around, aside from friend being PG do we look haggard mums! lol.

I think I look younger and am better dressed than I used to be!! Have cut off my long hair, is this a TREND??? and bought great suits for client work and casual stuff for office. We live in a huge (far too big but cant sell) old house and I have 2 kids at local prep. When people realise I am a single parent they are amazed (and then slightly horrified as if it is a nasty disease that might be catching)

oh behave lol!!
do love your comments btw
and yes the lopped off blonde hair is the way forward

I do look like a benefits mum, but then I am on some benefits and am a single parent. But I'm also in my final year at uni studying an English degree, so when I go to Tesco in my slippers, people can decide for themselves whether I'm a social security scrounger or a quaint eccentric.

Personally, I think if I went to the shop dolled up to the nines, some people would think I was very efficient and well-employed, and the other half would think I was an up-my-own-arse cow. Their opinions reflect themselves, they don't have much to do with me as a person, I'm sure (and this is my excuse for wandering to the supermarket in my slippers!!)

bless!!
LMAO!!

I really don't know as I have had about 30 years of people 'just mentioning' that my dress sense is, um, unusual. I don't particularly think it is BTW.

and bet you well BOVVERRED too lol!!

at those last couple of posts!

I'm so glad people have taken this post the way it was meant - as a bit of lighthearted fun (seeing as anyone with an iota of common sense knows it's stupid to judge anyone based solely on their appearance). I was a bit worried it might cause offence if someone took it too seriously, but I'm glad to see my faith in the average LP's sense of humour is totally justified.

optimistS we have to have one

I'm trying to make a bit more effort with my appearance as I realised that I never got any new clothes for myself and that I was living in ill fitting threadbare clothes so I now make a wee bit more effort.

Not sure if it is obvious that I am a single mum other than the fact that I do not have a wedding ring - I am actually quite paranoid about that thinking that people judge you if you have a child but no ring but surely no one really cares?

Would love to be a glam single mum but am just too knackered!