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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

since being a single parent do you find it changes what you're looking for in a

31 replies

aseriouslyblondemoment · 10/01/2009 14:37

relationship.
or to be more precise in a potential BF/GF?
its just a thought that i had as there seem to be alot of us apparently doing the dating thing at the mo.

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ConstanceWearing · 13/01/2009 00:13

Agree, SolidGold. Men are nothing to do with my children. I chose them a step-dad once, and a pretty piss poor one at that. They have their dad, I have my boyfriend / dates, whatever. Two entirely separate issues, until the children have left home and I might want to cohabit again - but I seriously doubt that will ever happen

spookycharlotte121 · 13/01/2009 00:18

Lol well I think any guy that I wanted to be a step dad to my kids would run a mile, Im 21 so most guys are out for fun, comitment is a bonus.

Im a huffalump atm so doubt any men would be interested in me at all tbh.... I look vile.

ConstanceWearing · 13/01/2009 00:33

Oh, Char, I'm sure you don't my love. And it's not all about what they want, you're entitled to choose too, you know ((()))

aseriouslyblondemoment · 13/01/2009 10:35

charlotte
i think there are men out there who would take your kids on and it wouldnt be an issue
they'd just see it as part of the package
a package that they love and want

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OptimistS · 13/01/2009 23:15

solidgold, you are a breath of fresh air. It's so refreshing to see someone who doesn't give a damn about being single. Don't think I'd like to get on the bad side of you though ()

spooky, listen to aseriousblondemoment. There are all sorts of people in this world, but truly decent people accept that anyone with children comes with those children as part of the package. There's no room for jealousy and resentment. It's a non-issue. I am not underestimating the complications that having children can impose on a new relationship, but they are to be viewed as challenges to be overcome, NEVER baggage. Anyone who sees your children as baggage is a person you should steer well clear of.

I met my ex-husband at 18. He had a 4-year-old son living with him. While I won't deny that I occasionally got frustrated at the limitations this placed on us and I look back now and realise I could have done a lot more as a step parent, I never felt resentful about my XH's son or wished he wasn't in the picture. I felt privileged that I had been allowed entry into this family and always accepted that, as a child, my ex's son had to come first. Any man worthy of you will feel the same about your DC. If they don't, get rid of them.

And I'm sure you don't look vile.

I seem to remember that you're juggling being a single mother with trying to study for a university degree. Do you have any idea who worthy of admiration that makes you? You are clearly a very capable, determined person, and to do all this at the age of 21 makes you even more outstanding. One day you'll meet a man who sees you for what you are. Until then, anyone put off by your circumstances is someone you're really better off without.

Sorry to hijack but I hate to see good, strong people talk so low about themselves.

aseriouslyblondemoment · 13/01/2009 23:30

totally agree and no hijack either
come forward Charlotte and take a bow[spontaneous applause emoticon]

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