I said that this year I'd put my foot down with my exh,and stop him turning up at my place to see the dcs and after absolutely dreading doing it,I've got it over with-phew!
He only has them round his place one day every 2 weeks for 5-6 hours,then he thinks he can pop over to mine to see them instead of having to make any further arrangements-that way he's able to do what he wants the rest of the time-no commitments.
I stayed very calm and didn't let him draw me into an argument,or make me feel guilty,I just kept stating the positives of him organising an extra set time to see them.
He got sulky about it and kept saying "oh that's nice,you're saying fuck off exh",but I wouldn't let him keep on,I just said "if you choose to take it that way,it's up to you,I'm just trying to get more routine in the dcs lives."
I left him to stew over it-I feel so pleased that I've said something at last-he might get nasty and petty soon though,I just have to wait and see-it could go either way,but I kept very civil with him.
If he sees sense and sets things up better,the dcs will know where they stand.
I'm glad to get the house back to myself-my own little haven for me and the dcs!
One of the other threads had a list of how to deal with your ex and I've found it really helpful-I even copied it down!
I'm starting my training soon too,in order to get back into work,so I'm starting to feel like I'm getting my life back in order again.