This is my first christmas as a lone parent. Left my abusive husband in May and expected to have a better time than the chaoas he usually caused.
But I am feeling really isolated and really sad and think this is rubbing off on DC's.
Sorry really feeling sorry for myself.
My parents live 5 minutes drive away and my brother (20) lives there and my sister is staying for the christmas period.
Before I split from H they would always be offering to babysit, trying to get me to go out and I would usually go out with my sister when she came to visit.
They want to see the DC's during the day but I am ignored as an individual person. I have spent every evening alone including my birthday (23rd), christmas eve and day.
On my birthday my family kindly came round at 5.30 when I got home from work and had a celebration aimed for DC's but was nice but all disappeared by back of 6 to do shopping.
Christmas day I had to have ex round (long story) and went round to parents later in day.
Stayed until 7pm as DC's were making too much noise during TV and I felt bad. Didn't get offered anything to eat and drink and felt i was intruding.
Every day I hear about the games they have played in the evening etc but noone seems to realise that I am sitting at home alone with all the cooking/cleaning extra stuff that christmas brings with no help.
They said one day oh we will need to brong pictionary and a bottle of wine round, it will be fun - I phoned to see when this was planned to get vague answers, I then got embarassed and pretened that it would be difficult.
I feel really hurt and feel I can't complain because I need their help for babysitting if I ever go out and they help out sometimes for childcare for work.
When I am really hurt ( I keep crying) I get a bit stand-offish which can come across as rude which doesn't help.
They also keep insisting that I get ex to do more to help me but when I do I causes great problems due to his abusive bahaviour.
Also I am a more touchy-feely mum than my parents were (very strict) and I know I get critised for giving lots of cuddles when they ask and in thier view being too soft and being against smacking etc.
Ex is still giving hassle and usually it I deal with it but finding it hard this week.
Really need someone to talk to who cares - even thinking of phoning samaritans
Don't expect family to be my company and happy to be by myslef most of time but when they are doing family thing I feel reallt left out.
Sorry for self-indulgent rant