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i feel like im losing control this xmas

19 replies

emsylou · 28/12/2008 14:43

Im sorry if this is a bit long but I feel like im drowning and need some advise, support. I am a lone parent with two children aged 8 nand 11. My 11 year old son has autism. I have little support from their dad although he does see them about once a month.
This holiday the children all seem to have got into the habit of going to bed late and the children have been watching dvds until late and now we are not waking up until late and the routine of school has gone out the window. How much of this is normal?
Also, both my children tried to go out to play for an hour today without putting socks on. I made them sort this but arent they old enough now to know they need to put socks on when it is sub zero temperatures outside, or am i expecting too much?? Is hard not having anyone to share these small issues with. any help would be appreciated. Thanx for reading.

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compo · 28/12/2008 14:45

I think it's right that the school routine goes out of the window - that is what the holidays are for isn't it?

The socks thing sounds a pain though!

Have you any friends, relatives near by?

emsylou · 28/12/2008 14:50

yes I do have lots of friends and my family are great when they are not in abroad. My friends are supportive but I feel like such an idiot when it comes to parenting. I dont have any confidence in my decision making when it comes to parenting. my friends all tell me im too soft.

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emsylou · 28/12/2008 14:51

sorry about the typing errors, trying to do too many things at once!!

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aseriouslyblondemoment · 28/12/2008 14:58

Don't be too hard on yourself I'm sure that you're doing a great job with your dcs.
Alot of us have these black days when it all gets too much I had one recently.Have you a friend who you could talk to for support or to just cheer you up?
And yes my dcs are still in their pjs,have stayed up late,have eaten far too many crisps/chocs and are glued to the tv watching all their Xmas dvds!!
Its the school hols after all and a break from routine isn't a bad thing personally I view it all as one less load of washing/one less proper meal to cook!!

emsylou · 28/12/2008 15:23

thanx so much for that message. am glad to know others are doing the same. i love your philosophy. move next door to me please!! Seriously though it is reassuring. I will def use mumsnet again. The dcs are happy and not fighting for once. Hoorah for the nintendo wii that their dad bought for xmas. Thanks again xx

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aseriouslyblondemoment · 28/12/2008 17:56

You are most welcome that's what we're all here for!!
And hey even that ex of yours has done something useful!!

UnfortunatelyMe · 28/12/2008 18:05

I took my dds(same age as your children) out after dark in the same jim jams they had woken up in yesterday. Needed to take a dvd back to Blockbusters and just COULDNT muster the energy to get the clothes ready.
3 days before they go back start trying to get them in bed a bit earlier(wear them out through the day?)
But dont beat yourself up about it. Holidays are for relaxing
As for the socks, they are old enough to realise they should have socks on in this weather!

wooga · 28/12/2008 18:26

I know what you mean about the sock thing-my ds (mild autism)wanted to wear his crocs out and have no socks today-he argued that christmas is over so it should be getting warmer again now(my ds gets so argumentative during christmas through all the stuff going on anyway)!

I've had a lousy few days and was getting up later and later(not wanting to get out of bed),which was stressing us all out as our routine was completely muddled.

Yesterday was a real 'aaaaargh! enough!' day and I had been feeling so low,I knew I had to get back in control or end up on my pills again by New Year.

Today I was determined and I dragged the dcs out in the fresh air and feel like I've actually achieved something-plus they haven't argued as much today!

ComeWhineWithMe · 28/12/2008 18:31

i think everyone is feeling a bit meh at the moment .
My dc are all out of routine and bickering ,my house is a tip and they are all eating crap .

PurpleOne · 28/12/2008 18:41

Same here too CWWM.

Except my family worker had something to say about that and we 'had words' on Xmas Eve.

ninah · 28/12/2008 18:42

me too house a tip children monsters, all seasonal

ComeWhineWithMe · 28/12/2008 18:45

I think we are all the same atm purpleone hope you are ok .

wooga · 28/12/2008 18:54

The ads and films on the telly make me laugh (on a good day,on a not so good day they make me feel worse)with the 'perfect' happy families all enjoying stuff together-not arguing over taking turns etc.

It's completely unrealistic-but my ds expects christmas to be perfect and magical after seeing all this!!

PurpleOne · 28/12/2008 19:04

I HATE those ads!!!

They do not portray the kids fighting and mum in the kitchen in her pjs at 3pm finishing off last nights wine. And the rooms are immaculately tidy NOT!

My DD1 hasn't been dressed in 3 days, although she's had a bath and washed her hair. I really am not bothered about it and I won't be telling the family worker either. Otherwise it'll be daggers at dawn when I see her on Tuesday. Especially if she found out what time DD2 went to bed on Christmas Day. (2am) DCs are 13 and 11. We lost track of time on her Abba Singstar - no way am I going to be bollocked for that!

aseriouslyblondemoment · 28/12/2008 20:20

Hey,we're all in the same boat lol!!
and oh bugger i was the mum finishing off the vino at 3..!!

emsylou · 29/12/2008 20:41

hoorah, thankyou all for the feedback on family life in your houses. I have realised today after a morning of tears on the phone to scottish power in a queue for an hour waiting to sort out an overdue bill so i dont get cut off, that I have raging pmt!! Not at all condusive with positive parenting at xmas.

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aseriouslyblondemoment · 29/12/2008 21:10

no its completely shite and you so dont need it right now
sending you a BIG HUG

hurf · 24/01/2009 12:12


Hope you got through your xmas ok. Yes my kids are doing the same. Just start putting them to bed 15mins earlier every night and they will fall back into the routine of school nights. about the socks, yes kids will ignore you alot so dont worry just do your best that all you can do but be consistant about the socks and make them realize you love them and you dont want them to get sick and get a cold.keep trying as they will try you many times yet to come.Kids will do this. OK. best of luck. ps. join a group it will get you out and about.

emsylou · 25/01/2009 08:12

thanx hurf. going back to school went remarkably well and we are now fully back into the swing of the school routine, phew!

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