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Original poster

Just feeling so sad...

11 replies

kara0811 · 24/12/2008 22:22

...am sat here on my own, children are in bed, and I just feel like bursting into tears.

This will be my first 'alone Christmas', and it has just been such a crappy year. I really shouldn't moan, as I have my children with me, and we are going to my parents tomorrow, but I just keep thinking back to last Christmas when ex-dh was here.

He had them this afternoon, and despite promising in a solicitor's letter that it would just be him (long story re. the other woman, him not seeing the kids for weeks on end since April), he introduced them to OW. So they have come home very confused, tearful (they're 3 and 2) and asking me lots of difficult questions. Why oh why oh why did he think it was appropriate to introduce his partner on Christmas Eve??? He doesn't see them again til Jan 3rd, so once again I am picking up the pieces.

Has anyone else been through similar? does it get better? Will I ever feel happy again? I want to be all excited and happy about Christmas, and I just can't.

Please someone cheer me up

OP posts:
snoringnightmare · 24/12/2008 22:28

They're 3 and 2. YOU can jolly them out of this. Make this a Christmas for you and them.

Jut enjoy the DCs. He doesn't have that. There is nothing you can do about him and ow so stop thinking about it.

So sorry but, hey,you've got your gorgeous Dc. It's Christmas! Wishing you every happiness.

LightShinesInTheDarkness · 24/12/2008 22:31

You are doing just fine - your kids love and need you, and tomorrow will be a good Christmas. Different, but still good. You are picking yourself up and moving forward after a difficult year - don't cry. Wishing you strength, take care.

misscathcart · 24/12/2008 22:32

I can understand. And of course you feel sad and angry, it's not easy!

But just keep thinking of those little faces tomorrow! Its going to be amazing seeing thier smiles and eyes light up!

They will be fine and so will you, you know you will - you have come this far after all! Well done lady! Have a great day with your family

ninah · 24/12/2008 22:47

Don't pressurise yourself to be ott, just get through it. You sound like a lovely mum and wish you weren't so sad, it does get better I promise and luckily life isn#t an M&S advert, or maybe it should be. Sorry wine. Just wanted to say I know how you feel. But yes feel hopeful. It does honestly improve this is your first Xmas, the next one will be so much better x

DandyLioness · 24/12/2008 23:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ratbunny · 24/12/2008 23:29

you know, you will NEVER be replaced as mum.
It is this thought that has got me through xh's running off with ow, and introducing ds to her after a few weeks.
You are their mum. They love and need YOU. You are their number 1 - the one they turn to when they get hurt, when they are excited, when they wake in the night - dont forget it. Make their christmas fab, without his help. You will feel great for it. and it will get easier

((hugs))

ninah · 24/12/2008 23:30

I meant what ratbunny just said

LightShinesInTheDarkness · 27/12/2008 02:18

Kara - you were pretty down on Christmas Eve. Hope your festive 2 days has been good though. Take care.

aseriouslyblondemoment · 28/12/2008 13:18

I do hope that you and your dcs had a nice couple of days.
You're a great Mum who puts her children first.
And even though it's hard think how far you've come this year.
I think your exh and his timing is shocking beyond belief and doesn't say much about the OW either.
Try if you can to rise above it you're far better than them x x

Original poster
kara0811 · 29/12/2008 20:44

Thank you everyone for your lovely messages. We wound up staying at my parents for 3 days and nights, and had a lovely time. It was so lovely to have some company in the evenings, and my children had a great time.

I still feel unsettled and sad, but I am just trying to put it to the back of my mind. Ex is seeing the children for 4 hours on Saturday, so am just hoping it goes a bit better this time, but who knows.

And ratbunny, thank you. That is just what I needed to hear.

OP posts:
emsylou · 29/12/2008 21:09

the evenings are a nightmare, i know, but things do get better with time. Me and my exh have been separated 7 years now. My dcs have met a few of his girlfriends. In the beginning i hated it and cried inside when the kids talked about the latest partner. Now its all good. I am on my own with them but as they get older you have less of the evening to yopurself and start wishing they were small again so you could have peace.
Time is def a healer, and friends. friends get you through. good luck

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