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Original poster

Dating websites - To chat or not to chat with complete strangers............?

13 replies

Yurtgirl · 21/12/2008 21:49

How do you react when someone sends you messages or wants to have a live email chat - someone from a dating website I mean

Do you think - Oh good
Or - help!!!!!!!!!

Ive got a man wanting to chat now - I have looked at his picture and interests, I cant say im genuinely interested.......... Do I just ignore him or what?

OP posts:
BONKERZ · 21/12/2008 21:55

chat you never know! i chatted with a blooke off the internet dating site and we have been married 5 years!!!!!

Original poster
Yurtgirl · 21/12/2008 21:57

What even if you reckon you have got nothing in common?

Even if you dont fancy him in his photo?

Or worse he looks just like x h?

Arghhhhhhhhhhhh!

OP posts:
BONKERZ · 21/12/2008 22:14

LMAO, When i joined the dating site in 2002 i kept getting this one guy appear on my matches. I looked at his piccy and did not fancy him but didnt have anything to lose so started chatting to him.
We chatted for weeks and really hit it off, what is weird though is we didnt have very much in common, we have different music tastes and had very different upbringings. Despite this we have been togehter 6 years and married for 5!
Unless you try it you just dont know!
My mum always said you have to kiss alot of frogs to find your prince!
what have you got to lose? you never know it may be fun!

Original poster
Yurtgirl · 21/12/2008 22:23

I find it all bizarrely thrilling and terrifying at the same time

I seem to get quite a few messages despite not having a photo viewable - who knows whether Id get more or less if I upload one

OP posts:
CuddlyUnderTheMistletoe · 21/12/2008 22:40

I'm of the opinion that guys are not that good a putting themselves across so I have been deciding if I would be friends with them then if so I will chat. I think pics on there can be so misleading too.

I will not get into msn unless I have spoke to them a bit. Bit wierd that.

I agree re thrilling and terrifying. I am loving it though!

I love your story BONKERZ, that is quite romantic.

aseriouslyblondemoment · 21/12/2008 22:57

yes its thrilling and terrifying at the same time!have you gone onto the site seriously looking to meet someone or not?by that i mean your profile etc?having a pic doesnt always mean you wont get hits as i didnt have a viewable pic and i got loads of hits but i think that the men were looking at the bare minimum id put down!be brave and have a chat and take it to the level where you would feel comfortable with there is always the block option!!and the really genuine men wont pressurise you only the many idiots but youll soon see these for yourself!Good luck and enjoy!

moosh · 22/12/2008 11:46

Go for it.

I am going to do this once I have my self sorted (am moving in 2 weeks and start a job too). This is my New Years resolution to have the courage to put myself on a few sites and chat to guys.

aseriouslyblondemoment · 22/12/2008 11:50

you go girl!!hope you meet someone nice!!

terrier141 · 22/12/2008 16:14

Go on - thats where I met my hubby too! Good luck! xx

aseriouslyblondemoment · 22/12/2008 16:33

Oh so there is a god then lol!!

ELOB · 01/01/2009 21:01

don't know. my husband ws using these sights in secret, even while trying for another baby. he met up with women and telling them he was divorced with 2 boys etc. THAT WAS HIS PREVIOUS FAMILY he told them about. there was no mention of his current family. i spoke to a couple of these women and they were genuinely shocked to hear he was married with very young children and trying for more. he is a very sincere sounding man and quite charismatic and goes out of his way to look like the 'respectable family man' to others. he is generous with money but equally uses his money to earn friends and enemies. within only 3 weeks of telling him the marriage was over i discovered he had transferred a lot of money into an account in philipines and he admitted he was getting a 'housekeeper' and going over there in person. flight and hotel all booked. not many people could possibly be expected to recognise this man for what he is as he is such a convincing liar etc but it becomes very clear to persons who start to have a 'close' relationship with him, including extended family/relatives. the thought of meeting someone like this on the web frightens me. not sure id try it.

ninah · 02/01/2009 09:15

My ex was a cheat and liar too, and I made sure I stayed on my own for a good while after I left him to sort my head out. Even so, 3 years later I had real concerns about trusting anyone else. Have met someone really nice and genuine online though. You have to trust again at some point, your atennae will be tuned for disaster but there are some good men out there, online and in reality (the reason I was convinced to try again was meeting some lovely men platonically in rl). The one I ended up with is not someone I'd have probably spotted across a crowded room, and for me that's no bad thing.

aseriouslyblondemoment · 02/01/2009 11:42

this is all very true..
my bf said that if he had seen me out in a bar then he wouldn't have had the confidence to approach me
It was purely from chatting for a while that he asked me out

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